A Peculiar Nightmare
by LPK9
Summary: After confronting his evil nephew Kylo Ren on Crait, exiled Jedi Master Luke Skywalker dies dramatically on Ahch-To. Or does he? AU post The Last Jedi. Crack fic. (If you loved The Last Jedi, you probably won't like this fanfiction. Just saying.) Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Rey, Kylo Ren
1. Chapter 1

_Sheltered Courtyard_

_Palace in Theed_

_Naboo_

_Late evening_

_34 years after the fall of the Empire at Endor_

"Uncle? Uncle! You should be sitting down, Uncle!"

The old, nay, _ancient _Gungan turned slowly, leaning with care on his stick. With some effort, he kept his voice light.

"Meesa fine, my nephew. Great honor it is to be here, great honor."

The younger (though still elderly) Gungan gazed at his uncle in concern, "We are honored indeed to welcome Queen Amidala's children, but Uncle, you aren't supposed to be walking. Please, let me call a hoverchair and you can come to the receiving hall inside where the Queen waits."

The old (old, old) Gungan lifted his eyes. The shuttle had landed, the ramp was down, a slight figure was descending, and behind her, behind her ...

"Get me the hoverchair, yes, Nephew. Meesa be thankin' you."

Leia Organa, the last princess of Alderaan, stepped forward, illuminated by the gentle light balls hovering in the courtyard. Even at nearly 60 standard years, she was a beauty, her dark hair, threaded in silver, piled high on her head, her carriage elegant and regal.

Almost there. Just another few steps ...

Organa smiled and nodded at the small crowd of courtiers waiting to welcome her. One of the queen's handmaidens gestured toward the palace behind them all, and Leia Organa walked closer.

A couple more steps ...

A sudden movement from the robed man behind Leia Organa, and a cry of fear, "Leia!"

With a vicious smile, and a flicker of suddenly yellow eyes, the aged Gungan pushed the button concealed in his hands.

Things blew up.

/-

_Crait_

Luke Skywalker gazed sadly at his nephew, "I failed you, Ben. I'm sorry."

Kylo Ren wore his typical look of half demented rage, "I'm sure you are! The Resistance is dead! The war is over! And when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi!"

Luke squinted one eye slightly, "Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi."

If possible, Ren looked even more demented and irrational, "I'll destroy her ... and you ... and all of it."

"No. Strike me down in anger, and I will always be with you. Just like your father."

Ren screamed in rage, charged toward his uncle, and cut him in half with his lightsaber.

Except that he didn't. The saber passed cleanly through his uncle's form without the slightest catch. Luke Skywalker was ... was ...

"Nooooo!" the tall, dark clad, crabby man howled in astonishment as he beat his light saber against the ground over and over.

"See you around, kid," Luke said with a sad smirk, and disappeared.

/-

_Ahch-To_

Luke Skywalker, exhausted, grabbed the giant rock and pulled himself to his feet. He stood staring out at the binary suns and released his exhausted body to death.

His body disappeared into the ether. His robes fell to the ground.

/

_Unknown Place_

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Jedi Master Luke Skywalker groaned.

He had trained for years and even decades to be patient. But beeping was boring. Boring. Boring. Boring. Weren't 19 years on Tatooine enough boring for any man, even a supposedly wise and stable Jedi?

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep.

He sighed softly to himself. He wanted to stop the beeping. He needed to stop the beeping. Before he lost what was left of his ... of his ...

Mind, that was the word, mind.

Words were not forming easily right now.

Ok, beeping something. If he opened his eyes, maybe he could see the beeping and kill whatever annoying person or ... or ... droid, that was the word, droid, which was making the ... the beeping.

His eyelids felt incredibly heavy, like a particularly flexible baby rancor was balancing carefully on his lids keeping them from opening.

But he had killed a rancor once, in Jabba's palace. He could lift a baby rancor.

But then, he didn't really have a baby rancor on his eyelids. That was just a ... a ... a simile. He was just ... something was wrong. Why were his ...?

Why were his what?

Focus, Luke.

Eyelids needed to open.

With an effort similar to the time he had carried his broken father across the Emperor's throne room floor, into an elevator, down a few corridors, and into the hanger bay, where his father had collapsed, and Luke had removed his mask, and they had exchanged loving words, and Anakin Skywalker had died ...

With a similar effort, Luke Skywalker opened his eyes.

The place, the room, was a hazy soft white. The beeping was ... was on his right. On his right. Yes.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep.

The Force, usually so obedient, was like a sinuous and reluctant vine snake in his mental hands. He reached out toward the beeping, slipped as he lost focus, then managed to strike out with one focused blow. The droid, or machine, or whatever it was, let off one last indignant electronic shriek before subsiding.

There was a sudden exclamation of surprise and a dark figure rose rapidly to its feet on the left side of the bed. Luke turned his head and frowned. The figure grew closer, closer still, until the old Jedi found, to his utter astonishment, that he was staring into the face of ...

"Ben?"


	2. Chapter 2

_Unknown Place_

"Ben?"

"Uncle Luke!"

It was indeed Ben Solo, also known as Kylo Ren, clad in a practical blue shirt with darker blue pants. The beloved face of his lost nephew sported a delighted smile, and even the jagged scar above his eye seemed thinner and even cheerful.

What was going on?

"Ben?" Luke asked again, bewildered. "Where ... where have you taken me?"

Ben sighed and glanced around, "You are in a medical ward in the Theed Hospital on Naboo."

"Naboo?"

"Yes, you were hurt badly when the colonnades came down. You sustained a severe head injury."

Luke thought furiously. He was dead, after projecting himself across the galaxy to Crait and then collapsing from the exhaustion. No surprise there. No one could actually project themselves across the galaxy like that without dying. For that matter, it seemed startling that he'd done it at all. Who would have believed such a thing was possible? Except he had. Hadn't he? So was this the Force Afterlife? But if it was, why was Kylo Ren here, looking friendly and cheerful? Was it possible he wasn't ...?

"Uncle Luke?" Ben's face was serious now. "How much do you remember about the attack at the palace in Theed?"

Luke Skywalker had been through a many a challenging experience in his life including being captured, shot at, losing a limb by parental lightsaber, being electrocuted by Force Lightning, and sitting for hours on end in extremely dull command meetings. He knew better than to take things at face value, especially when he had no memory at all and the Force was muddled and confused ...

"I don't remember anything," he replied hesitantly, his eyes focused on his nephew's face.

Ben Solo sighed and sat down on a chair across from his uncle's medical bed.

"I'm not surprised, Uncle Luke," he said, concern in his brown eyes. "You got hit very hard on the head, I'm afraid. Speaking of that, I need to get the doctor in here ... one of the machines seems to have stopped working suddenly."

Ben gestured with one hand and a holopad leaped into his hand. He typed a few commands into it and set it aside.

"What did you do on Crait, Ben?" Luke demanded suddenly, his eyes focused intently. Kylo Ren had never been a particularly restrained individual, and Luke doubted that Ben could conceal the truth of their last interaction. If indeed, they had interacted.

"Crait?" Ben asked, bewilderment spread across his face. "Er, that boring, lame salty planet near Naboo? I have never been there."

Luke stared back. The Force was definitely not cooperative right now, but the vague twitches from its energies indicated that Ben was speaking the truth. Which was very weird. Because he remembered the battle and he knew it was on Crait.

"So what happened here on Naboo?" he asked carefully.

Solo groaned aloud and shook his head, "Craziest thing, Uncle Luke. You and Mom landed to meet the current queen of Naboo. Do you remember that?"

"No."

The young man frowned at this, but continued determinedly, "Well, after much investigation, we determined that a very elderly Gungan by the name of Binks, who was in the welcoming party, had placed charges around the pillars holding up the roof over the courtyard. He set them off just as Mom and you stepped under them."

Terror filled across Luke's mind. Leia! He reached out toward his twin, fumbling, desperate.

"Mom's Ok!" Ben cried out. "She's fine! She had to rush off to a diplomatic function on Tatooine, of all places, but I'm sure she'll head back when she hears you are awake."

Luke relaxed slightly. Ben's words were reassuring, and he also felt the bond between Leia and himself pulse with power and joy. Yes, his precious twin was all right.

"So, Binks?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah," Ben replied, running a hand through his overlong hair. "He was like super ancient for a Gungan. He knew Grandma Padme, apparently. Why in all the galaxies he attacked you and Mom is unknown, though they are trying to figure it out."

"He was a Dark Sider," a new voice stated from the corner.

Jedi Master and nephew turned toward the corner, their faces suddenly lit with excitement. Ben Solo leaped to his feet and Luke sat up, then wilted as a wave of dizziness hit him.

"Father?"

"Grandfather!"

Ben Solo, even at nearly 30, was an exuberant soul, and it showed as he rushed forward to greet his long dead grandfather.

"Grandfather Anakin, where have you been? I've been hoping you'd show up for weeks!" he stated, reaching out a hand and then withdrawing it in some embarrassment. Anakin Skywalker was a ghost, so trying to hug him was silly.

(How, Luke wondered, had he been able to physically touch Leia on Crait when he was projecting himself across the galaxy, only to have Kylo Ren's lightsaber pass through him? It made no sense!)

"Sorry, Kid," Anakin said with a grin. "I'm more closely bonded to Luke and while he was unconscious, I just couldn't whistle up enough Force energy to appear. But now that my dear son is finally awake ..."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"9 weeks," Ben said absently.

"What!" Luke demanded in horror. He ran a quick, shaking hand over his face. So that was why his beard was so long and scruffy!

"So ... Binks?" Ben continued with obvious rampant curiosity.

"Jar Jar Binks," Anakin clarified. "Your grandmother Padme and I both knew him a long time ago. Total, complete moron as far as anyone could tell. He talked like an idiot, was incredibly clumsy and shockingly incompetent."

"Except that none of us knew the true Binks," a new voice stated, even as another blueish form appeared at Anakin's side. "It turns out that under that open, rampant stupidity hid a desperate Force Sensitive individual who was under the power of Darth Sidious himself."

"Hey, Obi-Wan," Luke said rather weakly. This was turning out to be quite the party.

"Hello, Master Kenobi," Ben greeted the old ghost with a slight bow, then continued in a puzzled way. "Darth Sidious?"

"Palpatine," his uncle replied quickly. "Your mother and I always refer to the former Emperor as Palpatine, but his cool Sith name was Darth Sidious."

"Ah."

"So Jar Jar Binks was a Sith apprentice?" Luke continued incredulously. "That's impossible! I thought that there could only be the master and apprentice and regrettably, Father was the apprentice for 20+ odd years."

"Not a Sith apprentice, no," Kenobi said patiently. "We're unraveling things here in the Force Afterlife and we don't know all the details yet, but Binks must have been a strong Force Sensitive whose intellectual limitations made him unable to use the Force deliberately. Sidious apparently recruited him long ago, probably using him as a sleeper spy on Padme Amidala and the other senators. And then he subsided into his usual stupidity for 60 years, only to awaken now for unknown reasons. Anakin and I are still working on that side of things. We want to make sure there aren't other idiots out there ready to be triggered."

"Are you sure we were the target?" Luke asked softly.

"I'm afraid so," Ben said sadly. "He died when the roof collapsed on him, but his quarters had hidden compartments filled with holos of you and Mom, and lots of weird, vindictive ... like, poetry or something?"

"Something, I would say," Anakin said with a sad shake of his head. "Jar Jar couldn't even speak clearly, and many people found it very annoying, but his poetry was complete nonsense and likely would fall within the rules laid out in the Coruscantian Treaty on torture. But whatever."

Luke gazed around for a long moment, then managed to sit up slightly, "So, let me get this straight. I've been unconscious for 9 weeks."

"Yes," the other three said in a chorus.

"After being knocked unconscious by a roof near the palace in Theed."

"Yes."

"And Ben, you didn't turn to the Dark Side."

"What?" his nephew yelped in astonished indignation. "Of course not! I'm a bestselling author, not a psychopath."

(Author ... author. That sparked a vague memory in Luke's mind, but he didn't bother focusing on it.)

Instead he heaved a gigantic sigh of relief even as he shook his head incredulously, "I just had the most peculiar nightmare."

_Author Note: Ha ha ha ha ha! (Evil laugh.)_


	3. Luke

Have I mentioned I don't own Star Wars? I don't. Not a teeny itty bit.

_Med Bay_

_Theed_

_Naboo_

"A peculiar nightmare?" Ben Solo asked, his eyes alight with curiosity. "Really? Where I was evil and Dark Sidey? Please tell me about it!"

Luke stared at him, uneasy, "Why would you want to know?"

The young man grinned enthusiastically, "I'm always looking for a new plot for a book. I'm thinking a fictional holobook after I finish my Clone Wars history, so yeah, if you had a weird dream where I was a Dark Side nut, I'd love to hear about it."

Luke relaxed slightly even as he forced his brain to think about the holobook thing.

"That's right, you wrote a book about Father, didn't you?" he said in relief. His memory wasn't completely toasted, it appeared.

"Yes!" Ben replied. "And while you were unconscious, it hit #1 on the holobook non-fiction lists in the Core and the Outer Rim; my publicist says that's because Grandfather was so important in the Core and he grew up on Tatooine."

"Tatooine!" Anakin muttered angrily. "Tatooine. I could live the rest of my life without even hearing the name of that wretched planet."

"Sorry, Grandfather," Ben said apologetically. He then added, a bit more up beat, "You are dead now, just a quick reminder. Though I spent a few weeks there to absorb the cultural and physical atmosphere, so to speak, and it is awfully hot and the sand is everywhere ..."

"Sand is rough, coarse, and irritating!" Anakin replied indignantly.

Obi-Wan groaned aloud, "Ok, time to go, Anakin. We need to see if we can tear Yoda away from his botany class and discuss the Binks situation."

"Botany class?" Ben asked in bewilderment.

"Yoda is learning about botany," Kenobi explained patiently. "He says he was on Dagobah for years and didn't know the names of most of the plants, and it was a continual source of annoyance. We've got some Jedi from AgriCorps here, and some of them are providing a daily botany class. Which is all well and good, but this Binks thing takes precedence."

"Grandfather!" Ben Solo piped up enthusiastically. "Can you come back soon and tell me about your Clone Wars mission to Cato Neimoidia? Obi-Wan gave me his own version but there are some details that are a bit obscure ..."

"Obi-Wan gave you details?" Anakin demanded indignantly. "Obi-Wan's memory of that particular incident is way off, I promise you. I saved his life but he refuses ..."

"That didn't count," Kenobi squabbled back. "Because ..."

"You're making my head hurt," Luke pointed out patiently.

Both dead Jedi subsided instantly.

"Sorry, Son," Anakin said apologetically. "I'm so glad to see you looking better. Yes, Ben, I'll come back when I can. Until then, may the Force be with you both."

The ghosts vanished, and Luke leaned back with a groan and closed his eyes. He adored his father and treasured the times when the former Sith showed up, but his head did hurt.

"So do you want to sleep?" Ben asked carefully.

His uncle shook his head though he kept his eyes closed, "No. I've slept for 9 weeks. Talk to me."

"No," the younger man replied mischievously. "You talk to _me._ I want to hear about this crazy nightmare. So I was evil?"

Luke opened his blue eyes, stared at his nephew's open, honest face, and smiled slightly.

"Yes, you were evil. And I was a total jerk."

"A jerk?" Ben asked excitedly. "Really?"

The Jedi Master shook his head wearily. "Really. I mean, total, complete jerk. Like, how could I be like that? You were way more ... consistent, I guess. Not that I think you'd turn to the Dark Side, Ben, but you at least were acting in a consistent manner for a Dark Sider, albeit a whiny Dark Sider. I was ... Ok, let me just tell you what I did in my dream."

"Wait, wait!" Ben demanded. He reached out and a holopad flew into his hand. He quickly typed in a few commands, then lay it carefully on a bedside table. "I'm recording this. You don't mind, do you, Uncle Luke?"

Luke frowned a little, "Promise you won't let this get out? Because people will think I'm insane, and we've had enough insane Force Sensitives both in real life and in my nightmare."

"I promise," Ben said, bowing dramatically. It looked particularly silly since he stayed seated.

"Ok," Luke agreed, and gestured toward a glass of water. It floated obediently into his hand, which was a relief. His control of the Force was improving. He took a sip of water, then forced himself to relax and think.

"So first of all," he began, "I thought about killing ... killing you, Ben."

His nephew's Force presence was a mixture of confusion and fascination, "You thought about killing me?!"

"Yes, because you were being pulled toward the Dark Side. So you were sleeping in some dreary little hut somewhere, and I came in and lit my lightsaber. Then I thought better of killing you, I guess, but you woke up and, naturally enough, were thoroughly enraged with me. So you drew your lightsaber and we fought, and you beat me and knocked me unconscious, and then you killed most of my students and burned down ..."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Ben interrupted, his eyes wide. "_I_ beat_ you_?"

"Yes."

Ben Solo began laughing in semi-hysteria, "Well, that should have clued you in right there that it was a dream, Uncle Luke. I would never be able to beat you. You're ... you're an amazing fighter. You beat Darth Vader!"

Luke leaned back and frowned at this, "Well, I'm getting old."

"Nonsense," Solo replied, gesturing toward a food unit. A moment later, a bowl of shelled kola nuts floated into his hand, and he began eating them enthusiastically.

"Listen, Uncle," Ben continued, waving a dramatic hand. "You know perfectly well that only a true master could beat you in a lightsaber duel. You've practiced and practiced and practiced and realistically, I haven't. The very idea that I could beat you in a duel ..."

He chortled for a few seconds, then forced himself to calm down, "Sorry. It's just funny to me. Please go on."

Luke smiled back, slightly. It was rather ridiculous. Ben Solo was very powerful in the Force, but he'd decided early in his life that he wanted to be an author, not a Jedi. He'd trained enough to manipulate objects and to handle a lightsaber sufficiently to prevent random assassins from taking him out, but he wasn't a brilliant fighter.

"So," the Master Jedi continued determinedly, "I retreated to Ahch-To and lived as a hermit for years, growing grumpier and more bitter by the month, apparently."

"Ahch-To?" Ben asked, "Where the Jedi agricultural training center is?"

His uncle frowned thoughtfully, "Yes, that's right. But ... but there wasn't a center. I was mostly alone though the Lanai were there. Are Lanai real?"

"The avian caretakers? Yes, they are there."

"Ok, so yeah, it was just me all irritable in a hut, and the Lanai wandering around, and porgs to eat, and thala-siren to milk."

His nephew shook his head incredulously, "And Mom was Ok with this?"

The Jedi Master looked down at his own hands, one real, one mechanical. Even if his dream was just a dream, and it was, he was ashamed of his own actions, "She ... she didn't know where I was. I hid myself from her and cut myself off from the Force."

This provoked an incredulous snort from his nephew, "Cut yourself off from the Force? Could you even do that if you wanted? Wouldn't that almost kill you?"

"Yes?" Luke muttered uncertainty. In truth, it would be very difficult for him to do such a stupid thing. The Force had been his life blood for decades. Could he truly cut himself off from its life giving power?

"I love this," Ben chortled enthusiastically. "I can do something with this, fictionally I mean. Great Jedi Master loses all hope and retreats and became a grumpy old hermit. It defies expectations. Did you do anything else stupid?" as he leaned closer.

"I was a fool. I threw my lightsaber over a cliff."

"Wut?" as Ben's face took on a look of confusion and then obvious disbelief. "Now you're just teasing me."

"No, really, that was in there too ... crazy stuff."

Ben's expression softened, "In your dream, Uncle Luke. In your nightmare. It wasn't real."

Luke sighed, "But what a nightmare it was. I just don't know why ..."

"Maybe you were affected by Binks in some way?" Ben interrupted with enthusiasm. "Maybe his attack on you and Mom provoked some kind of Dark Side response that messed up your thought processes?"

The elder Jedi stared at his nephew in amazement.

"Ben, that's an incredible idea. And probably you're right. I probably ..."

He broke off and raised his head as he sensed someone approaching his med bay door.

"It's the doctor," Ben stated, getting to his feet.

The door slid open to reveal a tall Togruta female, taller than Luke – though that wasn't saying a great deal. Neither Skywalker twin had inherited their father's height.

"Uncle Luke is awake," Ben said excitedly and unnecessarily.

The doctor approached, her gray and white striped montrals twitching slightly, her blue face pleased.

"Master Skywalker," the female said with a slight bow. "It's a pleasure to see you awake and cognizant. I am Doctor Rose Tico."


	4. Rose and Rey

Rose and Rey

_Med Bay_

_Theed_

_Naboo_

Luke Skywalker choked slightly and his eyes widened, "Rose Tico?"

The doctor tilted her head, her lekku shifting, "Yes?"

"Rose Tico," Luke repeated again.

"Yes?" the doctor stated again, her face curious.

Luke leaned back and groaned, "I'm sorry, Doctor. I ... uh ... I had a very weird dream, a nightmare really, and ..."

"I was in it?" the doctor asked, moving forward now with a hand scanner, which she proceeded to pass carefully over the Jedi's body.

The Jedi relaxed cooperatively, even as he focused on the alien face above him, "Well, a ... human woman named Rose Tico was in my dream, but she wasn't anything like you at all."

"Was she eeeeevil?" Ben asked excitedly.

The doctor shot the younger man a curious glance, and Ben explained, "I was evil in Uncle Luke's dream, which is kind of cool."

The Togruta chuckled as Luke continued slowly, "No, she ... the Rose Tico of my dream, wasn't evil. But she was kind of a fool. She said, and did, some really silly things ... I'm sorry, Doctor. It doesn't matter."

The doctor smiled reassuringly, "It's normal to have unusual dreams in a comatose and semi-comatose state, Master Jedi. In fact, I consider it quite reassuring. Your injury was very serious, and I confess that ..."

She trailed off, and Luke sat up slightly.

"Don't prevaricate, Doctor. I want to know all the facts, good and bad."

She sighed, her face grave, "I originally gave you a 10% chance of surviving, and only a 3% chance of ever regaining consciousness. Your recovery thus far is a medical miracle."

Luke blinked, then nodded, "Ok. Well, thank you very much for your excellent care, Doctor Tico."

Her face softened and she gestured at Ben, "I can only take some of the credit, Master Jedi. Your family and friends have been a loyal and faithful presence, and I am certain their care and love assisted substantially in your recovery."

"I'm sure they did," Luke agreed, smiling at Ben, who looked back in a clearly embarrassed way.

"So," the Jedi Master continued with determination, "can I get up for just a minute and use the refresher? I feel grimy and my beard is like, crazy long. I realize you all had other things on your mind, but I never could stand having a beard."

Tico frowned in clear concern, then nodded, "Very well, so long as your nephew helps you to the door of the refresher. Medical treatment has kept your muscles from wasting away from atrophy, but you haven't been fully vertical in 9 weeks, so you must be cautious. And don't mess with your beard. You probably aren't coordinated enough to be handling razors or scissors."

Luke nodded meekly and slowly sat up, then moved his legs to one side of the bed, then slowly rose to his feet even as Ben moved forward to wrap a long arm around his uncle's shorter form.

"Gah," Luke said aloud, closing his eyes and reaching for the Force. He was suddenly very dizzy, and his head hurt.

"Are you all right?" Ben asked worriedly.

"I'm ... I'm Ok," Luke said, shuffling carefully toward the refresher door. A moment later, he was inside, the door was shut, and he was staring gloomily at his reflection in the mirror.

He looked terrible.

He looked like a scruffy looking nerf herder ...

Han!

"Ben!" he called out.

"Yes?" came the answer through the door.

"Is ... uh ... your dad doing Ok?"

Luke held his breath for the two seconds for Ben to respond.

"Uh, yes?" his nephew replied in a puzzled tone. "He's fine. He and Chewie are on Coruscant helping Brehanna move from one apartment to another."

"Brehanna?" Luke asked in a puzzled way, then continued quickly. "Never mind. Talking through the door is tiring. Give me a few minutes and I'll be out."

He made use of those few minutes with great pleasure. After using the facilities, he washed his face and hands, smoothed back his tangled hair and beard, and straightened his lame green hospital gown. He looked ridiculous, but perhaps slightly less ridiculous now.

Well, he'd looked ridiculous before. Humility was in important character trait for a Jedi Master.

With a weary sigh (who would have known that walking would prove so tiring?), he turned to the door, opened it, took a step out, and stopped in astonishment.

Standing beyond his hospital bed were two figures: one, his nephew Ben Solo, the other a young female human, very familiar. The two were clasped in an extremely close embrace and were kissing one another passionately.

"Rey?" Luke sputtered out in astonishment.

The young woman stepped back from Ben and turned, her face rosy pink, "Master Skywalker, it's so good to see you awake!"

"Ermmmm," the Jedi Master mumbled, his eyebrows hiked toward his excessively shaggy bangs. "Er, uh, Ben, um, is there anything you want to tell me?"

His nephew drew himself up to his full height (which was impressively close to two meters – Ben had inherited his both his father's and paternal grandfather's height.)

"Yes, Uncle Luke. Rey and I are ... are married."

Luke felt himself pale and he actually wobbled in place, causing both his nephew and (new) niece to rush forward and guide him to the bed, where he collapsed, weak from over-exertion and incredulity.

"Really, Ben," Rey said with an indulgent smile as she stepped back from Luke's bed. "You should have given him a little more warning."

"Subtlety isn't my strong point," Ben replied with a slightly embarrassed smile.

"Thankfully, you have ever so many other strong points," the woman breathed back, leaning back in for another passionate kiss.

"Do you, uh, need a room for yourselves?" Luke asked weakly.

The couple broke apart again and Rey blushed even rosier, and Ben looked apologetic, "No, of course not, Uncle Luke. We're just, uh, well, we just got married a week ago so ..."

Luke sat up a little bit more, "Why are you here? You should be on a honeymoon somewhere, not looking after your aged, cranky relative. Not that I'm thrilled with a marriage between two former mortal enemies, but I guess it's a bit late to intervene thanks to my being inconveniently unconscious for so long."

"Mortal enemies?" Rey asked in amazement.

"Was Rey in your dream?" Ben cried out in delighted surprise.

"Dream?" Rey demanded, turning her gaze on her husband.

"Yes!" Ben said, "I was going to tell you about it but ... er ... we got a bit distracted when you came in here, with kissing and all. Yeah, Uncle Luke had a nutty dream with me as an evil Dark Sider. While he was unconscious, I mean."

Rey turned her gaze back on her master, her smile gentle, "We aren't mortal enemies, Master Skywalker. We've been seeing each other for more than a year. Don't you remember?"

Luke blinked and sighed, "No, I don't. I'm sorry, I can't seem to think clearly and my memory is blank in spots. Except for the ... the dream, I guess. You ... you and Ben had a complicated and antagonistic relationship, and fought a lightsaber battle in a forest on Starkiller Base."

"Starkiller Base?" the woman repeated, her forehead creased in bewilderment.

"Who won?" Ben asked with a curious glint to his eye.

Luke hesitated, "Rey did."

The married couple looked at each other, and then Ben reached out take his wife's hand, which he kissed dramatically, "No surprise, there. Rey is a full fledged Jedi. She'd kick my butt without any particular problem, I'm sure."

"Except that Rey wasn't trained at all," Luke said thoughtfully, thinking of his nightmare. "And Ben, you'd spent tons of time training. So that was weird."

Rey coughed, "I beat Ben without any training?"

"Yep," her master said with a shake of the head, "in fact it was the first time you picked up a lightsaber, and you managed to slice his stupid helmet in half, not to mention give him a scar. Of course, you should have cut his head in half ... Lightsabers are amazing weapons and they usually sever random limbs, not leave minor injuries. But yes, helmet in pieces, face mostly Ok."

"Helmet?" Ben asked curiously.

"Scar?" Rey demanded.

"Yes?" Luke continued, his hand stroking his ragged beard. "Yes, it was quite absurd. First Ben beat me in a lightsaber duel in spite of having far less training, and then a few years later you, Rey, beat Ben without any training."

"Oh Uncle Luke," Ben said sympathetically, "it's understandable that it didn't make any sense. You had brain damage. Of course, only someone with brain damage could come up with such an absurd plot, but you get a free pass from me, and I'm the local bestselling author."

"That you are," Rey said warmly, her besotted gaze on Ben's face.

"Enough!" Luke said grumpily. "Get out of here, get a room, enjoy your ... er ... you know ..."

He floundered before picking up determinedly, "I'm awake and I'm fine, so leave."

Ben sighed and plopped down onto a chair, pulling Rey down to the chair next to him, "No can do, Uncle Luke. Truth is, you have to have someone, er, looking after you all the time. A trained Force Sensitive someone, I mean. You haven't been quite the easy patient the last couple of months."

"In what way?" Luke asked worriedly.

"Well," Ben continued slowly, apologetically, "Aunt Mara tried to shave your beard, for example, and you would have thrown her into a wall if she hadn't stopped herself with the Force. You were unconscious, of course, so she didn't hold it against you, but yes, you've been a bit ..."

"Aunt Mara?" Luke repeated blankly.

Rey's eyes widened, "Yes, Mara. Your, uh, your wife?"

Luke Skywalker's mouth dropped open in disbelief.

He'd forgotten about his wife!

_Author Note: Thanks for those of you reading this unapologetic bashing of The_ _Last Jedi. I'm having fun, and I hope you are too. Thanks to my wonderful editor, who is enjoying the bashing ride._


	5. More Rey, More Rose

_More Rey, More Rose_

_Luke's med bay_

_Theed Hospital_

_Naboo_

"Aunt Mara?" Luke repeated blankly.

Rey's eyes widened, "Yes, Mara. Your, uh, your wife?"

Luke Skywalker's mouth dropped open in disbelief.

He'd forgotten about his wife!

His mind was suddenly flooded with a chaotic kaleidoscope of images, of a young woman with flowing red tresses, the same woman, older, with gray streaks in her hair. There were brief images of a flashing blue lightsaber and ...

It was too much. Luke's mind swam, then the darkness closed in ...

/

_Some time later ..._

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep.

Luke sighed softly to himself. He wanted to stop the beeping. He needed to stop the beeping. Before he lost what was left of his ... of his ...

Mind, that was the word, mind.

Wait a second. These thoughts were familiar.

It was like déjà vu all over again.

He reached out through the Force with more control this time and smashed the offending beeping droid, causing it to screech briefly, then fall silent.

There was a soft exclamation and Luke opened his eyes to see Rey on her feet, her eyes widened in surprise.

"Um, you're awake," she said after an awkward moment.

Luke sat up slightly and shot an irritable glance at the now slightly smoking medical droid, "Yes. I hate beeping."

Her face lit up with a smile now, "So I see."

He groaned and ran a hand over his face (his stupid beard was so annoying!), "I'm sorry. What happened?"

"You, er, lost consciousness. Which isn't surprising, Master Skywalker. You had an exhausting day yesterday."

The Jedi Master winced openly, "Yesterday? I was out that long?"

"You slept for 10 hours, yes. Which you needed."

He nodded and looked around, "Where is Ben?"

"He's asleep. He's been doing extra shifts with you because many things came up and ... er ... required other Force Sensitives to be elsewhere."

Luke groaned aloud, "Like my wife."

"Yes," Rey said with a smirk.

"Whom I forgot."

The girl tilted her head slightly, and now her smile was sympathetic, "You sustained a major head injury, Master Jedi. It's not surprising ..."

"Rey, please, stop calling me Master this and that," Luke interrupted wearily. "You're married to Ben. I think you can call me Uncle Luke."

She looked startled, then nodded, "Very well, Uncle Luke."

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "So, my wife?"

"Is on her way," Rey replied briskly. "She was actually in hyperspace when you regained consciousness yesterday. We're not quite sure when she'll get here."

Luke nodded, then smiled. His memory was not intact, but he knew he loved Mara Jade Skywalker with a passion. He couldn't wait to see her. He also knew she would have a few things to say about him forgetting her, but he could handle being teased for the pleasure of her presence.

"So," he said deliberately, gesturing for a water glass to float its way meekly over to him, "you and Ben are married. I still find that ... surprising."

Rey laughed even as she sat back down, her lightsaber swinging at her waist, "Well, it was a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, we were progressing in our relationship and all but then there was the attack on Theed. Ben said to me that if his powerful Jedi Master Uncle could nearly get killed by an ancient, crazed Gungan, it just showed how uncertain life could be. We knew we loved each other, Ben's mother gave us her blessing, and we decided on a quick wedding."

Luke gazed at her through half opened eyes. He was so tired.

Ben and Rey. Force Bond. Crabby Ben, with the scar over his eye. Why on earth would they get married?

No, wait, that was all from the nightmare.

He heaved a sigh, "I'm sorry, Rey. Not the greatest company here. I'm still confused between what is real and what is not. So ... do you have a last name?"

Her brows raised curiously, "Yes. Solo."

He chuckled, "I mean, a ... family name, from before you were married. In my dream, you were a mysterious person with only one name and no knowledge of your parents and relations and ... and you were from Jakku, which is covered with sand, rough, coarse and irritating."

She laughed now, "Well, that part is right, I am from Jakku. But my parents still live there, don't you remember? You've met them. They attended my Knighthood Ceremony."

He shook his head, "No, I'm sorry, I don't."

She smiled, her face fond, "My parents are Rayson and Lana Atine. They run a sand skiing and sledding facility on Jakku. Ben and I and a bunch of Jedi initiates were there ... oh, 5 months ago now? We combined fun with Jedi training. You refused to come because of your long standing distaste for sand. Ring any tuning crystals?"

The Jedi Master shook his head, "No, I'm afraid not."

A look of concern crossed Rey's face, but she only said, "It's Ok, Master ... Uncle Luke. It'll come back to you."

"So are your parents Force Sensitives?" he asked curiously. In both his nightmare and in real life, it was obvious that Rey was very strong in the Force.

She stood up now and walked over to the window to stare out the window at Naboo's blue skies and distant green horizons, "No, and my sister isn't either."

She turned now to face him, and her expression was hesitant, "Ben ... figured out something while you were unconscious. I ... I hope it doesn't upset you. Your sister was Ok with it ..."

"Yes?" Luke asked curiously.

She heaved a deep sigh and sat down, "I guess it is good I know this now, but it is pretty weird. Ben is investigating Force sensitivity and how it ties into genetics, which is especially complicated because back in the days of the Old Jedi Order, Jedi weren't supposed to have children. Obviously your father and mother broke from, er, tradition in that area. Anyway, so ..."

She hesitated, then continued with determination, "My former last name, Atine, is ... is shortened from Palpatine."

She stared at Luke, and he stared back at her, even as his eyes widened, "What?"

Her mouth turned down, "I'm a third cousin thrice removed of Sheev Palpatine, our loathed and despised former Emperor."

Luke sat up and winced as a headache formed in his right frontal lobe, "That is ... that is interesting, Rey. And as for being bothered, of course not. My own father was a brutal psychopath for more than 20 years, after all."

The girl smiled a little, "That ... that is what Mother Leia said. It is still kind of creepy because he was such a loathsome person."

Luke lifted an eyebrow, "So, why is your former name Atine as opposed to Palpatine?"

Rey frowned, "Well, to be honest, we're figuring that out. I asked my parents and they didn't even realize we are distant relations of the thankfully dead former Emperor. Ben has been poking around in the Nabooian genealogical archives while helping look after you, which is where he figured out our relationship to Sheev Palpatine. It seems a few generations back, the Emperor's extended family had a falling out and the name was changed in our branch of the family to distance ourselves. Which is all to the good, because Palpatine was not a reliable person in terms of being faithful to family. Ben says he was self-centered, narcissistic, and never played well with others. As a toddler he had an annoying habit of yelling "You're cheating!" anytime someone did something he didn't like. Even as a child, he was a total jerk, manipulative and sneaky. Great relative."

Luke sighed aloud, "Well, as I said ..."

"I know, Sith Lord father. I get it. Anyway ... Ben wonders if ..."

"If the genes threw a shockball when you were conceived?"

Rey nodded, "Precisely."

Luke leaned back and considered, then smiled gently, "It doesn't really matter, but I would guess the answer is yes. Leia and I are both strong Force Sensitives, as is Ben. It seems quite likely that someone as strong as Palpatine would have ... have some genetic predisposition. That's really more Ben's purview than mine, since he is all excited about research in pursuit of the next best seller."

She chuckled, "He has threatened to write a biography of me, not that I'm interesting enough ..."

"Oh, I think my nephew finds you plenty interesting."

She blushed openly now, though she didn't meet his eyes. Luke was tempted to keep teasing her, but no doubt to her relief, the holoscreen in the corner suddenly flickered to life.

Rey looked at it, her expression morphing from excited to embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Luke," she said, gesturing with one hand and turning off the holoscreen. "This is one of my guilty pleasures. I've been watching '_As the Galaxy Collapses_', a ridiculous daily holodrama. Ben is very patient with it but you'll find it annoying."

"Nonsense," Luke replied with his own wave of a hand, turning the holoscreen back on. "I'm tired and will rest, Rey. Just go ahead and watch it"

He leaned back and closed his eyes, his mind pleasantly relaxed. His horrible nightmare was just that, a nightmare. He was married, with a wonderful wife and ... and ... his brain thrashed around a bit in search of a wayward thought, but lost it. Oh well. Brain injury. It would come back to him.

_ "That's how we're gonna win this. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love." _

Luke's eyes flew open at these words and his eyes focused incredulously on the image on the screen where a short, dark haired woman was clasping a tall, blond man who was wiggling indignantly.

"Rose Tico!" Luke exclaimed incredulously.

Rey, who was chuckling openly to herself, turned to stare at him in surprise, then gestured to turn off the audio.

"What?" she demanded.

"That's ... that's Rose Tico!" Luke continued. "Not my doctor, the woman from my dream with that name."

Rey glanced at the screen, where the woman was gazing up at the increasingly irascible man, her mouth moving soundlessly.

Ben's wife looked puzzled for a moment, and then her face broadened in an understanding smile, "Was she a fool in your dream?"

"Yes?" Luke replied uncertainly.

Rey was laughing now, even as she nodded in understanding, "I understand now. That's Cresso Nico, the character I mean. You must have heard her name on the holodrama and mixed it up with your doctor."

"But I remember her face!" Luke exclaimed. "And her voice!"

"Well ...," Rey continued carefully. "When you were still semi-comatose you would sometimes open your eyes and look around, but you never said anything. We thought ..."

"That the lights were on, but no one was home?" her uncle by marriage quipped.

"Something like that," Rey agreed, clearly relieved at his understanding. "But probably you did absorb some of it into your dream."

"But what she just said, I remember it! _That's how we're gonna win this. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love."_

Rey was laughing openly now, "Of course you remember it. It's her signature line."

"It's a stupid line!" Luke exclaimed indignantly. "Completely absurd! Especially in my dream! Her friend was trying to rescue the Resistance by sacrificing himself, and like a complete moron, Rose Tico crashed her speeder into him at like 200 kilometers per hour and nearly killed herself _and_ him … should have. And then before she fainted dramatically, she spoke that absurd line. Because _of course_ it's wrong to sacrifice yourself to save your friends, naturally. Talk about stupid ..."

He trailed off because Rey was doubled over, laughing so hysterically that he wasn't sure she could hear him anymore.

"Do you think I'm wrong?" he said rather cautiously, surprised by this reaction.

"No, you are of course totally right, Uncle Luke," Rey gasped out, struggling to control her hilarity. "That line is Cresso Nico's favorite saying and she says it every 4th or 5th episode. And everyone hates it to the point that they love it. The character started out as a noble sidekick to the main female character, but there was a writer's strike and some lowly intern wrote that line for one of the early episodes. Everyone thought it was so stupid they ended up adoring it, and the Cresso Nico character shifted to being the plucky but irritating comic relief."

She gestured at the screen now, where the tall blond man was looming over Cresso now, his face creased with exasperation, "She's always interfering when someone tries to do something heroic, and people are always trying to do heroic things in _As the Galaxy Collapses_. It's that kind of holodrama. The actress playing Nico seems to be enjoying herself, because she's invited to all the fanventions and she always gets up on stage and says that line, and everyone boos and throws jogan fruit. It's so fun!"

Luke stared at her in amazement, "So ... the actress doesn't mind?"

"Of course not," Rey said firmly. "Chelly Klistan is the actress playing Cresso Nico, and she knows her character probably would have been killed off two years ago if she hadn't become the idiotic sidekick. There is nothing so wonderful as having your character so hated she's loved for long term survival on a holodrama."

Luke stared at her, and then smiled mischievously, "Sounds like you know a lot about this show."

Rey's face pinked, "Like I said, guilty pleasure."

She sighed now, "I suppose not really appropriate for a Jedi ..."

"Not at all," Luke interrupted firmly. "I think the Jedi of the Old Order were prone to take themselves too seriously at times. We all need a little relief from the struggles of our days."

His new niece smiled gratefully, "It does help me to relax. And ..."

She trailed off and turned to the door, even as Luke did. A new Force presence was making itself known ...

The door slid open and Mara Jade Skywalker stepped through the door, her green eyes suspiciously bright.

"So did you miss me, Farmboy?"

_Author Note: I'm sure that the actress Kelly Marie Tran is a fine woman, but oh how I hated Rose Tico. And that part where she smashes into Finn drives me insane! That should have killed them both, and the Resistance was in grave danger, and Finn was trying to heroically save his friends after being rather a coward in the previous film. He was being noble and wonderful and then Rose is an idiot and says that _stupid line_. ARGHGGHGHGHGHGGHGHHHHH! Thanks for the reviews and follows, and thank you dear husband for this delicious ride of bashing _The Last Jedi_._


	6. Mara, Snoke, and the Family

_Author Note: I just wanted to say to those who liked _The Last Jedi_ and are still reading this story that I am glad you enjoyed the movie. I mean, someone should, right? Disney paid all that money for the franchise and then went and (messed it up) did their thing, and they have that right. So yeah, if you liked it, I'm happy for you. And I'm enjoying lambasting it!_

_/_

_Luke's medbay_

_Theed Hospital_

_Naboo_

The door slid open and Mara Jade Skywalker stepped through the door, her green eyes suspiciously bright.

"So did you miss me, Farmboy?"

Luke lurched to his feet and held out his arms; a moment later, his wife, still beautiful at 52, walked into his arms.

For a moment they just clutched one another, and then Luke leaned down and planted a long and impassioned kiss on Mara's mouth, which she returned with fervor.

When they came up for air, both felt a shock in the Force and turned to regard Rey, who was gazing at them with a mixture of surprise and embarrassment.

"Hey, just because we're old doesn't mean we don't love each other quite enthusiastically," Mara said with a sardonic lift of one eyebrow.

"Er, right. I mean, yes, I understand. Uh ..." Rey stuttered, her face turning rosy with embarrassment.

"You know, Rey, I think you could use some rest," Mara Jade Skywalker continued with an affectionate grin. "And Luke and I can have a discussion about how he _forgot_ about me."

Luke paled just slightly and glanced at his nephew's wife, "Don't feel like I'm chasing you off, Rey."

"No, no, I'm out of here," Rey said, recovering her spirits and giving him a jaunty salute. "I am tired, and it is my honeymoon, so just let me know when you need relief and we'll show up, Master Mara."

"Aunt Mara, Rey, Aunt Mara!" the older woman exclaimed with an amused smirk. "You married Ben. Aunt Mara!"

Rey chuckled and nodded even as she headed out the door, "Ok. See you later, _Aunt_ Mara."

The door slid behind her and Luke was left facing his wife, who was looking amused, "So Doctor Tico says you forgot you were married, huh?"

Luke swallowed and licked his lips nervously, "Uh, yes."

She glared at him for another moment, her Force shields high, before relaxing, smiling brilliantly, and bestowing another ardent kiss on his lips.

"It's Ok, Luke," she said with a chuckle, even as she sat down on the nearby couch and drew her rather shaky husband down to her side. "You had a major head injury and Doctor Tico is over the nebula about how well you are doing."

Luke sighed and wrapped a relieved arm around his beloved wife, even as he stared at her. Her hair was now streaked with white, and there were wrinkles in the corners of her eyes and around her mouth, but she would always be his beloved Mara.

"I'm sorry, Mara. I'm afraid I've been an enormous amount of trouble the last couple of months, getting slugged by a Gungan sleeper Sith agent like that."

"Sleeper Sith agent?" his wife asked, her brow furrowed. "Why do you think that Binks was a Sith agent?"

"Oh," Luke replied with a vague nod. "Yeah, I guess you didn't hear about that. My father and Obi-Wan showed up briefly and said Binks was a moronic Force Sensitive working under Palpatine. Since Palpatine died, he's just been bumbling along but somehow he got triggered to kill me and Leia. And obviously came pretty close to succeeding with me. It's pretty embarrassing."  
Mara stared at him in surprise, even as she shook her head slowly, "You do know you saved about 60 lives, don't you?"

Her husband blinked at her, then shook his head, "I don't remember what happened at all, and Ben and Rey and the doctor have been busy discussing other stuff with me."

She chuckled softly, "There were explosions, and the pillars came down, and the roof came down on dozens of people, and you held up the incredibly heavy roof with the Force until Leia and her retinue was able to get almost everyone else out from under it. Then Binks threw himself at you with surprising ferocity for a timeworn Gungan and broke your focus, and the roof collapsed on you and him. He died, and ..."

Here her insouciant manner changed, and her eyes brightened, "... and Leia thought we'd lost you. You scared the twin suns out of her and all of us."

"You weren't there?" he asked quietly, placing his hand on hers.

She shook her head, her long hair rippling in a thoroughly beguiling manner, "No, I was on Corellia overseeing a trade summit when we got the news of the attack ..."

Mara lifted her chin and forced a smile, "You scared me to death, Farmboy. But you were, as usual, a hero. And if you ever get hurt like that again, I'll kill you myself. Got it?"

He laughed and leaned over to plant a kiss in her hair, "I got it. I guess it's nice to know I wasn't being totally incompetent."

She laughed and leaned up against him, "When have you ever been totally incompetent, Luke?"

Luke sighed, "Bespin?"

She pulled away and gazed at him thoughtfully, "So you remember Bespin."

Her husband groaned aloud, "Even 30 years later, yes, I remember every last moment of my encounter with my Sith Lord father on Bespin. Every second."

She gazed at him in concern, and then managed a slight smile, "That really is good, Luke, that you ... you remember the past. Besides, you weren't really that incompetent given your very minimal training at the time."

"My father thumped me," her husband growled irritably.

"But you escaped, Luke, you escaped! That was truly astonishing given that you had had all of a few weeks of training in your entire life. No, the really incompetent people were Kenobi and Yoda. To let you fly off on your crazy rescue mission without telling you the truth of your heritage was asinine, irresponsible, and downright stupid."

"Well, it's good to know your true opinion of me, Mara," a cultured voice spoke from the corner.

Both Skywalkers shot a surprised look at the corner, where Obi-Wan Kenobi had taken form, his visage faintly indignant.

"She's not wrong, you know," Anakin commented cheerfully, appearing in a supine position on Luke's bed with his long legs stretched out.

"I was not irresponsible," Kenobi said with a huff. "I thought there was nothing left of Anakin Skywalker in Darth Vader. It seemed extremely unlikely that Vader would even tell Luke the truth."

Anakin sat up now, his own face astonished and offended, "My own son. My own son! I was a total louse of a father and I freely acknowledge that, but how you could have imagined I wouldn't care about Luke beyond some disgusting quest for power ..."

"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will!" Yoda stated firmly, appearing, oddly enough, on a nearby counter.

"That's Roba sausage and you know it," Anakin countered irritably, rolling to his ghostly feet. "I turned back 100% on the Death Star. If I hadn't promptly croaked ..."

Here he paused, his still youthful visage perturbed, and sighed, "I would have ended up in a New Republic prison or, more likely, executed. Which would have been entirely reasonable and appropriate. But I would have been executed as a Light Sider. I promise you, I completely turned back."

"I know you did, Anakin," Kenobi acknowledged. "There was much we thought was true about you which was wrong."

"Maybe you don't know everything about demented Sith Lords yet," his former padawan snapped back.

"So!" Mara said loudly enough to quiet the three ghosts, "Did you have some purpose in coming here besides interrupting my reunion with my now conscious husband?"

To their credit, the three dead Jedi all looked vaguely contrite, and Anakin spoke quickly, "Um, yes. So we've been doing some more work on the whole Jar Jar Binks thing. We've talked to a few dead people who might have some knowledge and we're making progress. It seems there was someone out there who triggered Binks, and it is likely he was on Naboo at the time of the attack, though he may have left the planet by now, of course."

"Or _she_ was on Naboo," Mara said pointedly.

Kenobi nodded agreeably, "Or she. Though to my admittedly prejudiced ears, Snoke sounds like a male name."

Luke sat up in astonishment, "Snoke!?"

"Yes, Snoke," Anakin stated, his gaze focused on his son. "Do you know of him?"

Luke rubbed a hand across his beard (stupid beard!), "There was an individual named Snoke in my dream. But ... my dream wasn't real. So the Snoke in my dream couldn't be the real Snoke, I assume."

"But you know the name and none of us did," Mara pointed out. "So perhaps the Force has revealed something of importance to you."

"Or," her husband continued slowly, "perhaps I had some kind of Force link with Binks before he died? I don't remember."

"What did Snoke look like in your dream?" Anakin asked curiously.

Luke snorted, "Bad. Like really bad. Like worse than Darth Vader at his worst bad. Like worse than wrinkly old crabby Palpatine bad. Humanoid but not human, I think. Blue eyes. Little eyes. Mean eyes. Actual holes in his head and cheek. He'd been through the wars at some point, I guess. He was a Strong Force sensitive in my dream and ... and Ben's master, but he didn't have much of a personality as far as I could tell ..."

He trailed off now, his brow thoughtful, then shrugged, "But probably my image of him is based off of one of Rey's holodramas."

"Maybe," Mara replied. "Maybe. But we'll investigate this further. Force ghosts, keep up the good work. And get out of here. I want some _private_ time with my husband."

Kenobi and Anakin both paled slightly (quite an accomplishment for ethereal Force ghosts) and vanished promptly. Yoda followed a few seconds later, grumbling in fractured Basic.

"Now," Mara said with a smile. "What would you like next? Food? A real water shower?"

Luke grinned at her in delight, "Yes to both, but first, if you'd be so kind, can you help me get rid of this lousy beard?"

An hour later, Luke was clean shaven, his hair was trimmed, he had bathed in genuine liquid water, and he was wearing real clothing as opposed to hospital garb.

The Force Afterlife couldn't be much better than this.

"So," he said carefully, even as he speared a shef'na fruit with his fork, "do we have any children?"

Mara swallowed her bite of bantha meat convulsively and stared incredulously at her husband, "You forgot we have kids!?"

He reddened slightly, "I'm sorry, but I forgot about you, so yes, I forgot about kids, plural. We have plural kids? In my dream, I was a bitter, solitary, hermit and I still kind of have that bizarre idea stuck in my brain."

She smiled a little sadly, "Yes, we have three children, Luke. Our identical twins, Beru and Padme, are 23 years old. Cassian is 21."

He looked at her, even as vague memories tentatively swirled in the conscious part of his brain.

"We were pretty tired, weren't we?" he asked with a slight grin.

She laughed now, "Exhausted, absolutely exhausted. 2 year old Force Sensitive twins followed by a newborn. Thankfully Leia had a lot of experience with Ben and Brehanna, so she was able to give us some tips on keeping them alive when they were little."

"Brehanna?" Luke asked boldly. He decided he might just as well be honest about his total lack of memory of all these random people.

Mara gazed at him with a gimlet eye, then nodded gamely, "Brehanna is our niece, Ben's twin sister."

Luke felt tears prick in his eyes, "That's wonderful. In my dream, Ben was a total mess and, I think, quite lonely. I'm glad he has a sister."

"And a brother," Mara said, reaching out towards a bag on the floor. A holopad leaped into her hand, and she quickly found the requisite image, of the Skywalker/Solo clan in front of a thoroughly lovely lake.

"This is all of us," she said with a smile, pointing at the various people in the holo. "Ben and Brehanna are 29, our Padme and Beru are 23, Cassian is 21, and Han and Leia's son Anakin is 19. Han and Leia wanted another child but it took a long time to conceive him, so he's the runt of the litter, so to speak."

Luke chuckled at the young man his wife pointed out. Ben was tall, but his younger brother was even taller.

"So," Luke said softly. "We destroyed the Emperor, brought my father back from the Dark Side, found each other, got married, have 3 kids, and are living happily ever after, huh?"

His wife smiled and placed a comforting arm on her husband's shoulder.

"Well, there were a few bumps on the way, but basically, yes."

She gazed into his face and then her face creased in concern, "Are you all right, Luke?"

He reached a shaky hand up to his face and was unsurprised to find it wet from tears.

"I'm very happy, Mara."


	7. Holdo

_In space outside of Crait_

_ The weapons of the _Supremacy_ were far too strong for the lightly shielded U-55 orbital loadlifters. One by one, the ships fleeing the Resistance flagship _Raddus_ were destroyed. Was there any hope at all for the few brave individuals fighting against the pervading Darkness of the First Order?_

_ Admiral Holdo, horrified at the loss of her fleet, turned the _Raddus_ in space and, with one last determined look, pushed the required button._

_ The Raddus went into hyperspace, cleaving the _Supremacy_ in two ..._

/

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Luke groggily punched the offending med droid with the Force and it flew into a nearby wall, before sparking, falling to the ground, and falling blessedly silent.

"Uncle Luke!" Rey said indignantly. "Can you please stop wrecking the med droids?"

He opened his eyes blearily, his brain still struggling to make sense of reality.

"I ... uh ...," he began, before his eyes lit on the purple haired, middle aged woman sitting on a chair nearby who was staring at him curiously.

"Admiral Holdo," he ground out, sitting up slightly.

Her mouth moved in bewilderment, but he didn't take time to try to read her lips.

"You are a terrible military commander, Admiral," he snapped. "Like, the worst. What was that about? Why would you stalk around the _Raddus_ with your nose in the air and refuse to give anyone any kind of information about your plan? Like, any information? It was a horrible, stupid plan anyway. Abysmal. Did you really think the First Order would blindly follow you into lightspeed and not even check out Crait, even if they hadn't somehow managed to notice your obviously poorly shielded transports? But your refusal to even indicate you _had _a plan caused that mutiny. You knew that Poe was something of a hot head and you were so rude, and mean, and porgy to him. What did you _think _was going to happen? You were an embarrassment to the Resistance leadership. I mean, pardon my Rodian, but you were a complete moron. I can't believe Leia had you next in the line of command when ..."

His voice trailed off as a chuckle broke into his mind, and he turned to Rey, whose initial amusement morphed into an open hysterical breakdown.

"Oh no," the Jedi Master groaned, "or rather, oh yes. It was just a nightmare. It didn't really happen."

"No, it didn't," Rey said, trying to control her laughing

Luke turned toward Admiral Holdo, his face sagging with contrition (and wrinkles).

"I am so sorry, Admiral," he said apologetically. "I haven't been myself, as I'm sure you know, but that's no excuse."

"It's 'Senator', Master Jedi. I'm a politician, and have no clue how to run a military campaign," the woman replied with a gracious smile. "A major head injury is a perfect excuse. I assure you I'm not insulted."

Luke groaned and ran his hands over his face, "I ... when I fall asleep, I go back to that horrible, peculiar nightmare and it seems so real ..."

He sat up now, frowning, "It is weird how this nightmare does seem very real, because none of it makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. For one thing, your move on the _Raddus_ defied hyperspace physics."

"So what was my move?" the Senator asked with a curious smile.

"Er, the First Order, which was the name of the bad guy group – like the Empire – they were firing on the transport ships that you ordered filled with people to go off to Crait in the hopes that they could hide there safely while the First Order chased you into hyperspace. Not that Crait was a great place to hide at all, but whatever. Well, the plan leaked to the enemy and most of the Resistance ships were being blown up. So you heroically sacrificed your life by putting the_ Raddus_, your flagship, into hyperdrive and you cut the enemy flagship, the _Supremacy_, in half, and of course you martyred yourself in the process. But that's not how hyperspace works."

"I am sure you are correct, Master Jedi," Holdo said courteously, "though I admit I don't understand hyperspace well enough to know why."

"Well, even the most brilliant minds don't entirely understand hyperspace," Luke replied, leaning back with his eyes fixed on a far wall. "But it's a different ... a different dimension. If it was just like going through real space at a very fast speed, any time a bit of space dust hit you'd be toast. I mean, there are complications and gravity wells that can pull a ship from hyperspace into real space, but a ship won't smash through another ship when it goes into hyperspace. I don't think so, anyway."

He frowned, "Would it?"

Rey sat up more and shook her head, "I'm sure it wouldn't work, Uncle Luke. If it did, someone would have weaponized it. Just think how easy it would be to have a remote drone with a hyperspace engine. We could send out a bunch of such drones toward an enemy ship and send them into hyperdrive, smashing the ship. No, it wouldn't work."

"Oh, and here's another thing," Luke said, smiling a little. "Earlier, in my dream, Han – and this is crazy too – Han was trying to get past a shield around Starkiller Base ..."

"Starkiller Base?" Holdo asked.

He waved a hand, "Not important. The important thing is that Han dropped out of hyperspace inside a planetary defense shield. That is impossible because it would require impossible timing. But even so, the general idea was that in hyperspace, the _Falcon_ would not impact on the shield."

"I wonder if you could actually do that," Rey replied thoughtfully. "I mean, maybe with the Force guiding you ...?"

"Absolutely not," her uncle responded firmly. "I was the most brilliant pilot of my generation and I wouldn't dare try such a thing. The timing would have to be perfect beyond the realms of possibility. If you attempted such a thing, you would either come out of lightspeed nowhere near the planet in question, or would smash yourself into the planetary shield or the planet itself. If you try such a thing based on my foolish ramblings, Ben really will thrust a lightsaber through me."

Rey's eyes opened, "Ben killed you in your dream? I didn't know that."

Luke shook his head, "No, I was projecting my image across the galaxy, don't ask me why or how, so his lightsaber just passed through me though ..."

He trailed off, and for a moment he saw, in his mind's eye, Han Solo murdered at the hands of his own son.

"It was just a dream," Rey pointed out again, her eyes focused on him in concern.

Luke nodded, and rose carefully to his feet, "Yes, and it is logical for a dream to be illogical. Honestly, I just wish I could forget it all. It's like a terrible song stuck in my head. I just can't un-see it, you know?"

There was a sudden surge in the Force, and Luke took a couple of rapid steps toward the door. An instant later, the door was open, and his adored twin was stepping through and he was in her arms.

His precious Leia.

_Author Note: There is a scene in Rogue One, when the protagonists are escaping Jedhu, when they go into hyperspace and they are still within the planetary atmosphere, and there are rocks and dust impinging on their escape path. If ships just go faster when they enter hyperspace, I would think they should have been destroyed at that moment by friction and hitting random dust and rocks. But no, they jumped into some kind of other dimension where the air and rocks and dust couldn't affect them. On the other hand, it is true the Millennium Falcon had to get clear of the asteroid field in ESB before they could try to jump to lightspeed. So OK, I'm not brilliant enough to entirely understand a pretend dimension in the galaxy far, far away!_


	8. Leia

_Small lounge_

_Naboo Hospital_

_Theed_

_Naboo_

_20 minutes later_

"I am so sorry I wasn't here when you woke up, Luke," his twin said, her dark eyes serious. "If I'd known you were actually going to regain consciousness in a meaningful way, I would have stayed."

"That's entirely all right, Leia," Luke replied, placing his hands, one flesh, one prosthetic, on her own smaller ones. "Ben said you were doing something diplomatic on Tatooine? You deserve a medal for that, by the way. Tatooine. Really!"

"Tatooine is full of sand," Anakin stated irritably, his blueish form appearing suddenly on the chair next to his son, "which is coarse and rough and irritating!"

"I have often heard you said so, Anakin," Leia said with an amused smile. The years of hatred toward the former Darth Vader had given way to, if not friendship, at least peace.

The scar on her progenitor's face lifted with his eyebrows, "As your brother states, any deliberate trip to Tatooine is a noble endeavor."

"Right," Leia agreed, rather uncomfortably, only to be happily interrupted.

"Grandfather!" Ben Solo said exuberantly from his small table to the right. "Come on over and chat with me and my lovely wife! You need to tell me about Cato Neimoidia!"

Anakin rose to his spectral feet and sauntered over to join his grandson and Rey, "Indeed I do. That was quite a mission, let me tell you ..."

Luke and Leia exchanged amused glances, before the Jedi Master fixed an inquiring gaze on his sister, "Do I sense some prevarication about your trip to Tatooine, dear Leia?"

She looked down at the table, then back up, even as her own face split into a grin, "Ok, so maybe it wasn't an official diplomatic function, Luke. I ... I was attending Hutt Week."

Luke stared back, his expression more than normally blank, "Hutt Week?"

"Yes," she replied. "It's, er, an annual celebration in Mos Espa celebrating the death of Jabba the Hutt and the beginning of the end to the Hutt stranglehold in the Outer Rim planets. I've been invited before and never made the time, but you were just lying in bed all boring and unconscious, and Naboo is close to Tatooine, so yes, I went."

Her brother shook his weathered, face, "You've been invited to Hutt Week? Why haven't I? Or have I? I have forgotten much of what happened in the last 20 years, so maybe I've been there every year for decades? I don't know."

She chuckled aloud, "No, you haven't and indeed, I think no one would be foolish enough to invite you. Your distaste for Tatooine rivals Anakin's."

"So what did you do?" Luke asked curiously.

"I was the guest of honor," his sister said with a sly smile, "since I took out the old slug back in the day. There was a carnival with 'Strangle Jabba' games, genuine Tatooine food like dweezel sticks and blue milk pudding, and I could have purchased an odd creature which is a cross between a rancor and miniature dune lizard. It looks rather like a rancor but is way smaller, like a quarter of a meter in length, and it's an herbivore. I thought about getting one for you, for old times sake, but I decided against it."

Luke leaned back, his eyes wide with horror, only to relax as his sister's amusement broke through her Force shielding.

"Ok, fine, laugh at me," he grumbled. "You're not the one who had to deal with rancor slobber while it tried to eat me."

"So you do remember that," Leia replied, her face now serious.

He nodded and looked at the ceiling for a moment, "Yes, I seem to remember the first 25 years of my life quite well, but everything since then is scattered and confused. It's weird."

Leia smiled adoringly, "I'm just thankful you're alive and conscious, Luke. I haven't been that afraid for you ..."

She lowered her voice, even as she shot a glance at Anakin, who was still talking animatedly to her son, "Since you surrendered to Vader on Endor."

Luke sighed and patted his sister's hand, "I'm sorry I've been such a bother."

She rolled her eyes.

"Don't be absurd," she scolded. "You saved my life. The roof in that courtyard was crashing down on me and you held it up in a truly miraculous way. I wasn't hurt at all even though I should have been crushed like an escaped prisoner in a trash compactor."

He laughed, as she intended he would, and then nodded, "I'm ... I'm glad it worked out so well, Leia. And I'm so thankful that my horrible dream was just that, a nightmare."

Her eyes were serious now, "Ben told me a little about your nightmare. You were a crabby hermit, he was evil, Rey was kicking butt, and I was ...?"

Luke paused, and was embarrassed when his eyes filled with tears.

"You were alone."

She tilted her head, her brow furrowed, "Alone?"

He nodded, even as he brought his mechanical hand up to wipe his eyes, "I'm sorry. I'm not usually this emotional, especially about something that wasn't even real ..."

"Head injury," Leia said softly.

"Yeah, head injury," he agreed, running his hands down his face before allowing their gazes to meet. "So in my dream, Ben turned to the Dark Side and left you to serve this Snoke dude, Han ran off because of ... I don't know ... grief over Ben, and I ran off and disappeared completely because of anguish over Ben and the loss of the Jedi Order. So the three main men in your life disappeared, leaving you to carry on alone. You didn't have any other children so you were forced to carry on by yourself. I was such a jerk. We all were. You were, of course, brave and heroic though you did make Admiral Holdo your second-in-command and she was a _disaster_."

Leia laughed at this, "_Admiral _Holdo? I adore Amilyn and respect her political acuity, but she wouldn't be much of a military person."

"She wasn't," Luke grumbled, closing his eyes in disgust. "Total moron. Erghhh."

"So what was my role in all this mess?"

"You were the General in charge of the Resistance, which was like the Alliance to Restore the Republic."

Leia smiled again, her brown eyes bright with interest, "And why did I let _Admiral _Holdo run amuck?"

Luke's eyes glazed as the dreadful memory assaulted him.

"You ... you were in command central of the main Resistance ship, the _Raddus_, and one of the bad guys made a great shot and your cabin lost pressure and you were spewed out into space. It was horrible."

"Wow, a rotten way to die!" Leia stated worriedly, reaching out with the Force to comfort him.

"Uh, no, you didn't die," her brother replied, his eyes refocusing. "You, er, used the Force to fly through space like a, like a farlus hawk and back into the _Raddus_. Then you collapsed dramatically and lingered in a coma for enough time to let Admiral Holdo make a bunch of really stupid decisions that basically eviscerated the Resistance."

Leia blinked at her brother, "Flew through space? Like, the vacuum of space?"

"Yep."

"Is that ... is that possible? Is that some weird Force technique I've never heard of?"

Luke sighed and groaned, "No. Seems like it would kill anyone on the spot to be vomited out into the vacuum of space. But my dream was illogical on so many levels and I just went with it, in my nightmare I mean."

She smiled a little at him, "It's Ok. Nightmares are like that. So did you ... you and Han and Ben ever come back to me?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head, the false memories playing across his mind, "No we didn't. Well, Han came back briefly and you had a loving reunion and then he flew off on a mission and ... and Kylo Ren killed him."

Leia raised her eyebrows, "Kylo Ren?"

Her brother shot her son a quick look, and Leia's eyes widened, "Ben called himself Kylo Ren?"

Luke shrugged helplessly, "Yeah? I don't know, maybe part of the fine print of becoming a Dark Side user is taking on a new and bizarre name."

"And he killed Han?"

Her expression was horrified now, and Luke looked down at the table, ashamed.

"I'm sorry ..."

She stood up and threw her arms around him now.

"Don't be ridiculous, Luke," she said gently. "It's all just a bad dream and I'm fine because Han and Ben adore each other, and always will. You're the one whose brain is so screwed up you feel sad about something ridiculous that never happened!"

He smiled a little and brushed his eyes even as he tightened an arm around her, "I know this is stupid, Leia, but I just want to say that I love you, and I'm sorry for ... for leaving you for 9 weeks in a coma. I feel badly you were alone."

Her lips curved up, "Again, I haven't been alone, Luke. Han was here most of the time until he had to run off to get Brehanna moved, and Mara was here assiduously until a couple of weeks ago. Ben has been here, and Rey. I've not been alone."

"I'm glad," Luke said softly.

The Force chimed in their twinny heads and both looked at the door suddenly. A moment later, Mara came in with a broad smile wreathing her face.

"The baby is out of the intensive care unit!" she exclaimed happily.

Leia detached from Luke and threw her arms around her taller sister-in-law, "Oh Mara, that is wonderful news!"

Luke stood up as well, his eyes wide with bewilderment, "What baby?"

"Oh Luke," Mara said with an embarrassed grimace, "I'm sorry. I forgot that we didn't tell you about the granddaughter."

Her husband's eyebrows hiked even higher, "Granddaughter?"

She smiled now in a thoroughly besotted way, holding out a holoprojector, "Yes, our precious Beru was married to Trey Antilles a year ago and their baby Maria was born eight weeks early. That's why I rushed off to a hospital on Dalaya to help Beru until Padme was able to get there. So now our twins are together, the baby is doing well, and I'm so happy."

Luke Skywalker blinked at his wife, then at his twin sister, both of whom were gazing at a holo of a pink lump who was, who was...

"Granddaughter?" he repeated again in a dazed tone.

"Yes, Luke, granddaughter," Leia replied, her eyes crinkling with amusement. "Somehow, in spite of the fact that Han and I had our twins years before you did, you and Mara beat us in having a GRANDCHILD!"

Ben and Rey were on their feet now and Rey was blushing, whereas Ben was looking peeved.

"Not all of us find our true loves as early as Grandfather did," he pointed out.

"I knew your mother was my Angel when I was nine," Anakin stated, his misty eyes mistier than usual. "She was so beautiful. I wish ... I wish you could have met her ..."

There was an uncomfortable pause before Rey lurched forward to gaze at the holo more closely, "Oh Aunt Mara, she's beautiful!"

"Isn't she?" Mara exclaimed.

"I just love babies," Leia moaned in ecstasy.

Luke found himself on the outside of the female threesome next to his ghostly father and tall nephew.

"She looks like a bald pink sausage with arms and legs," Ben whispered.

"Babies are pretty boring when they are first born," Luke muttered back softly. "All they do is eat and sleep and cry and excrete. But she'll be more interesting soon."

A stray thought surfaced from the depths of his brain damaged mind. His wife had extremely keen hearing.

Mara's gaze shifted to his and he flinched slightly, only to be saved (mercifully) by Leia's com.

The last princess of Alderaan glanced at the caller identification, responded enthusiastically, retreated to the nearby window, muttered for a couple of minutes, then came back to the rest of the inhabitants of the room.

"That was Brehanna on Coruscant," she announced. "She's tracked down this Snoke person, Luke."

_Author Note: Dudes and dudettes, this is a fun one to write and I'm enjoying the kind reviews and follows of those who are enjoying my lambasting of THE LAST JEDI. Thanks also to my fabulous husband for editing!_


	9. Delaya

Author Note:

_Just a quick reminder on the Skywalker/Solo clan_

_Ben and Brehanna are 29 years old and are Han and Leia's twins_

_Ben is newly married to Rey._

_Anakin is 19 years old and is Han and Leia's son_

_Padme and Beru are 23 years old and are Luke and Mara's twins_

_Beru is married to Trey Antilles and they have a newborn daughter named Maria._

_Cassian is 21 years old and is Luke and Mara's son._

_/-_

_Main cabin_

_Jade Sabre_

_In hyperspace_

_2 days later_

"Ok, I concede," Luke gasped, his chest heaving. He reached out a hand and his lightsaber, which had just been knocked from his grip onto the floor, flew into his grasp. He hooked it onto his belt and wobbled his way over to a couch, where he collapsed rather dramatically.

His son, _his son, _grinned and hooked his own lightsaber onto his belt, then strode over and dropped down next to his father.

"You should get hit on the head more often, Dad," Cassian Skywalker said cheerfully. "I haven't beaten you this easily since ... well, ever!"

"Glad to be of service," his father wheezed wearily, sucking in deep breaths of air. It had probably been a terrible idea to practice dueling with Cassian, but Luke was so tired of sitting around and he wanted, he _needed_, some exercise. And his son had been all too ready to engage in sparring with his old, but usually supremely skilled, father.

"Here," Cassian said, handing over a water bottle which he had summoned with the Force. Luke took it with a word of thanks and drank down the cool liquid, even as he gazed at his grown up son.

Cassian was 21 standard years of age, and a little taller than Luke. His hair was dark blond but his eyes were green, like Mara's. He was a full Jedi, handsome and joyful, and thankfully Luke was starting to remember more, of a little Cassian chasing his older twin sisters around, of a pre-teen Cassian flying Luke's X-wing. Of ... of ...

"Did you put a snake in your sisters' bed?" he asked suddenly.

Cassian grinned, "Yep, a baby black snake, a constrictor."

Luke frowned, "And did your sisters thump you?"

"Pretty much," the young Jedi replied with a casual wave of his hand, "but then Padme and Beru actually decided they liked the snake and kept it for about a year until it escaped one night and disappeared in the house. Mom was_ not _happy about that."

Luke smiled at this. He remembered his wife's dismay.

"So you remember that, Dad?" Cassian asked. The young man was putting on a calm facade, but Luke could sense his son's anxiety in the Force.

"I do remember the snake, Cassian," Luke said with a satisfied nod, "and I remember your mother's ... displeasure at its disappearance. More and more is coming back. And oddly, it seems that having my butt handed to me during our sparring match was helpful. I think the muscle memory of using a lightsaber is fueling memories of my past life."

"Hey, any time you want me to show you who is boss, just let me know," Cassian replied with a smirk. A moment later, the youth scooted closer and wrapped his father in a big hug, "It's good to have you awake, Dad. I helped watch over you the first six weeks until I had to leave on a mission, and I was scared to death you'd never wake up."

Luke hugged Cassian in return, hard, "I'm glad to be back too."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you did regain consciousness," the youth continued with contrition in his eyes, "but those sentient mosses on Ryloth were wreaking havoc and I was needed for the peace negotiations with the Twi'lek farmers."

His father blinked in surprise, but patted his son's shoulder reassuringly, "I'm all for doing what needs done, Cassian. And Ben and Rey tell me I was pretty boring except when I was randomly trying to hurl people against the wall. I'm glad you got back in time to accompany me in hyperspace, because your cousin and his wife deserve a pleasant honeymoon at Varykino."

The door slid open and both men looked up as Mara, then Leia, entered the room.

"News?" Cassian asked, jumping to his feet.

Leia nodded briskly, her face concerned, "News indeed. You might be aware we dropped out of hyperspace an hour ago and received an encoded transmission from Brehanna, which R2D2 just finished translating. Bre says that Snoke is on his way to Dalaya."

Luke frowned, "Dalaya? Where our twins and the grandbaby are?"

Mara's Force sense was a swirl of anxiety and fear, "Yes. I doubt that's a coincidence."

Her husband's eyes widened, "We need to warn them."

"Brehanna is way ahead of us all, Luke. You know she's a detective with the intergalactic police, right?"

"So I've been told," the Jedi Master replied. "Not that I remember that."

Leia smiled reassuringly, "Bre has contacts all over and she's arranged an immediate security detail to watch over Padme and Beru and Trey and baby Maria. It seems likely that Snoke is planning to ... "

"Take out more of our family," Luke replied grimly.

"Yes," Mara said softly.

Luke stood up and put his arms around her, "They'll be fine, Mara."

"Yes, they will," Leia said briskly. "Don't either of you worry. Padme isn't a Jedi, but she's been trained enough to defend herself and I pity the fool who attacks her twin sister's family. And Brehanna and Han will be there shortly. Please trust me. Everything is going to be all right."

Luke took a deep breath and smiled weakly, "Ok."

/-

_Main cabin_

The Millennium Falcon

_Landing Bay #1_

_Delaya_

_1 day later_

"How ya feeling, Kid?" Han Solo demanded, rolling to his feet from behind the dejarik table and thumping his brother-in-law on the back. "You don't look so bad to me. In fact, you look strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark."

Tears filled Luke Skywalker's eyes, and he found himself giving Solo a quick embrace, then standing back to gaze at his old friend with relief and some awe. The last time Luke had 'seen' Han, the older man was falling off a catwalk after his son plunged a lightsaber through his torso.

The Jedi Master wiped his eyes quickly with the Force, then managed a fairly cheerful response, "Hey, if you've got any gundarks around, I'd be glad to give it a go."

The old man laughed and gestured towards the hairy behemoth who had just come out of the cockpit.

"Chewie!" Luke gasped aloud before throwing his arms around part of the Wookiee's giant torso.

"WROAHRRGHHH!" Chewbacca howled back with enthusiasm.

Luke stepped back in time to see Han and Leia meet for a quick kiss which turned into a long kiss which turned into a passionate embrace which showed no signs of ending any time soon.

"Do you, um, need a room?" Mara asked, strolling into the cabin.

The kissing continued, and Luke decided that since romance was in the air he and Mara should indulge as well ...

"Hey, parental units, aunt and uncle, can I get your attention?"

The two couples broke apart with slightly embarrassed smiles to focus on the lovely young woman who had appeared inside the cabin, her brown eyes flashing with amusement.

"Hello, Brehanna!" Leia said, embracing her only daughter. "It's so good to see you!"

"You shield very well!" Luke said in amazement. He had to focus hard to sense his niece. "Your mother tells me you're not a Jedi, but you certainly are gifted in the Force."

Bre Solo smiled and stepped forward to give her uncle a hug, "It's weird you don't remember all this, Uncle Luke, but I don't mind giving you the brief synopsis. Both Ben and I are very strong in the Force, but he got excited about being an author and I binge watched _Detective Files_ in my early teens and I decided on a career with law enforcement."

"It's truly sad," Han said, walking over to drop a kiss on his daughter's head. "I spent literally decades running from cops, and now my daughter _is_ a cop. Where did I go wrong?"

Brehanna laughed and elbowed her father gently in the ribs, "You did marry a politician, Dad, so I think it is totally time for you to be respectable now."

She turned back to her uncle and smiled, "So to jog your memory a bit – you trained both Ben and me to shield and defend ourselves but I'm no Jedi, and never will be."

"She's good, though," Cassian said, walking into the room. "Ben is too. I've sparred with both of them and while I usually win, it's not easy. As a matter of fact, I think Bre could mop the floor with you right now if she was so inclined."

Luke groaned and rolled his eyes, "I did have a major head injury, Son. Give me a break."

Bre laughed, "I'm actually on duty, so I'll let you off easy this time, Uncle Luke. Let's get to it, shall we?"

She pulled out a large holopad, "Snoke and company aren't here yet, thankfully, though my contacts think they'll arrive within hours. Here's the story ..."

She pushed a few buttons and a screen on the far wall lit up, "Snoke is the owner and operator of a circus."

There was a long pause while the elders and youngers glanced at one another.

"A circus?" Leia asked finally, in disbelief.

"Yes," Brehanna stated, starting to pace with her arms behind her back in a posture that was extremely reminiscent of her Sith Lord grandfather. "It's brilliant, actually. This Snoke individual is able to go from planet to planet without question because his circus is welcome in cities across the galaxy. Ben and Rey were both searching through the Force after Binks' attack on Mom and Uncle Luke, and they were quite certain that no nefarious Sithly people were still on Naboo. So I looked for individuals or companies who had left Naboo, and cross referenced that with Jar Jar Binks recent activities, and came up with four possible ..."

She trailed off as she observed the glazed eyes of her various older relatives.

"Never mind," she said with a firm wave of one hand. "Circus. Uncle Luke, can you take a look at Snoke to see if he matches your, er, dream?"

Luke obediently turned his eyes to the screen and then gasped as the familiar face of the truly ugly Snoke appeared.

"That's him all right," he breathed softly, taking a step closer. The man (?) really was a mess.

"What is with those weird holes in his head and neck?" Han asked in a puzzled tone.

"According to my research, he had those surgically created," Brehanna stated in a professional tone. "He's not just an owner, but a circus performer as well. He lets snakes crawl in and out of those holes as part of his act."

There were gagging sounds, a cry of "Yuck!" from Mara, and Chewbacca moaned in disgust.

"That's just nasty!" Cassian said with a horrified look on his face.

"Yes, it is," Brehanna replied with a world weary air. "I've heard of worse though. A lot of people are just weird."

"Captain Phasma!" Luke cried out suddenly, his gaze fixed on the screen.

Everyone else turned to face the holoscreen where an individual wearing an odd set of armor was standing next to some kind of peculiar device.

"You've seen this person?" Mara asked worriedly.

"Yes," Luke replied, his brow wrinkled. "She was in my dream as one of the leaders of the First Order ... the bad guys, for those of you who haven't heard much about my insane nightmare."

"It says on the circus promos that she gets shot out of a cannon during the finale at the circus," Leia stated, her eyes fixed on her holopad.

"That sounds unhealthy," Cassian snorted, "though at least she has a helmet."

Brehanna clapped her hands together, "All right then. As soon as the circus shows up, we'll arrange to interview Snoke and this Phasma person, and Uncle Luke, maybe you can look the rest of the information on the circus and see if anyone else jumps out at you."

"I will," Luke vowed. He would do anything to keep his family safe from insane sleeper Sith agents.


	10. Snoke and the First Order (Circus)

_First Order Circus_

_Leilani (Capital of Delaya)_

_Delaya_

_16 hours later (early morning)_

"Allow me to introduce myself," the gray garbed official said with a professional smile. "I am Marshal Prima of the Delaya Animal Control and Protection Office. This is my aide, Rarita. "

"Snoke," the exceedingly tall, cadaverous human introduced himself with a slight nod of his head. He inspected the Marshal, then turned a brief but disdainful look on the aide Rarita. The young woman was thin and beautiful and sported flowing blond locks which she tossed every 30 seconds. Her light blue robe was decorated with rancor head insignia, and she inspected her brightly colored yellow and orange nails at frequent intervals. It seemed likely she was a spoiled rich kid who had gained her job through sheer nepotism.

"I appreciate your time," Prima stated courteously, drawing Snoke's attention. "As your circus will open tomorrow morning, we will need to proceed through your animal collection and ascertain the level of danger from the creatures, plus determine whether they are being treated well."

"The animals are not dangerous and are being treated well," Snoke said with a focused glare of his icy blue eyes. "You don't need to check them."

Prima blinked in surprise, "I'm sorry, ah, Snoke, but I do indeed need to check them. It's my job and the circus cannot open unless the requisite forms have been filled and filed."

Snoke blinked even as his forehead creased in astonishment. What was this? A random human who was immune to Force suggestion?

"Very well," he replied cautiously, even as he carefully touched a button on his belt. "This way."

The subsequent tour of the animal cages would have been amusing if Snoke was blessed with even a semblance of a sense of humor. While Marshal Prima wrote notes on his holopad and occasionally asked questions pertaining to the care of the various creatures, Aide Rarita made inane comments about the same animals when she wasn't admiring her nails or running her hands through her flowing blond locks.

"Oooh," squealed Rarita. "What are these?"

Snoke lifted one white eyebrow, "These are Corellian Dark Snakes. I use them in my act."

The Marshal lifted his chin up, then up higher in order to meet Snoke's eyes, "Yes, about your act. I am concerned that the snakes are being mistreated in the course of your ... well, I understand you allow them to crawl in and out of ... er ... your body in some way? How do you coerce them to do something which surely is in opposition to their natural tendencies?"

Snoke hid a snarl, even as he reached over to key the access code into the snake's cage. It popped open and he reached in and pulled out his favorite snake Hebra, who darted for his neck hole and flowed inside with delight.

Snoke glanced at the two officials (if Rarita could be considered an official) expecting them to be backing up in horrified repulsion. To his irritated astonishment, the Marshal had stepped back with wide eyes, but Aide Rarita was a half a meter closer, her green eyes wide with apparent delight.

"What a wonderful snake!" she cried out, reaching out to touch Hebra's head which was emerging from another one of Snoke's neck holes.

"Don't. Touch. The. Snake!" Snoke snarled, then took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. Really, who was this idiot?

The girl pouted noticeably, "I'm sorry. I just love snakes. And Corellians Blacks aren't poisonous, are they?"

Snoke glared for a moment and shook his head, "No, they are not. But Hebra knows me, not you. I don't want you to frighten her."

Rarita actually looked contrite, "I'm sorry."

"I see," Marshal Prima said rather shakily, "that the snake is ... er ... quite comfortable with ..."

He trailed off, then continued with determination, "Shall we move on?"

Snoke felt he had made his point quite nicely and, after patting Hebra gently on her scaly head, put her back in the cage and locked it.

The tour continued and 75 long minutes later, they were done inspecting the animals in the containment cages.

"Where are the circus records on the animals?" Marshal Prima inquired politely.

Snoke shrugged elaborately, "In that mobile office over there. But there are no animals outside the cages."

Prima nodded confidently, "I need to check your quarantine export/import records. Shall we?"

Snoke took a step closer and bent a fierce gaze on the Marshal, "You don't need to check our records. Your work here is done."

The man stared at him in astonishment, "I don't need to check your records."

"No, they are entirely in order," the 7 foot tall holey man stated.

"They are entirely in order."

"You can go about your business."

"We can go about our business."

"Uh, Boss?" Rarita asked with another wave of her flowing locks. "Didn't the Grand Marshal say you have to check the export/import files?"

Snoke leveled a furious glance at the woman, but she was checking her nails. Again.

"Yes ... yes, I do have to check the records," Prima said, shaking his head as if trying to rid himself of a particularly large dopplefly on his face.

Snoke nearly howled in rage. What was with these two? He wasn't highly trained in the Dark Arts, but he was very competent in Force suggestion.

"This way," he grumbled, marching over to his office and keying the door open. He'd have to kill these two and disguise their deaths as some kind of an animal attack. The tiresome woman said she liked snakes and he had a 20 meter constrictor who would enjoy an unconscious meal.

The door slid open and he entered the office and moved toward the holoterminal at the far end. The marshal and his aide followed him in, then turned around at the clatter of feet behind them.

"Ah, hello!" Rarita said with a thoroughly vapid smile. "Who are you?"

The two humans, one a very tall dark haired woman, the other a red haired man, did not reply except to pull blasters and fire stun rays towards Rarita and Prima.

Rarita lifted a hand and the rays deflected away from her as if off a shield. Both assailants were hit by the returning wave and collapsed to the ground.

Snoke gasped aloud and made a leap for his stash of poison grenades, only to be brought up short by a blaster in the chest held by Marshal Prima.

"Don't even think about it," the marshal growled, his face suddenly stern.

A moment later, a buzzing sound penetrated Snoke's stunned ears, and he turned just as a white lightsaber was thrust near his neck. He froze in shock and terror.

"I'll do it," the woman said, her face intent and her expression no longer blank with stupidity. "In a heartbeat. I promise."

He froze even more. He didn't move a millimeter.

"We are but three poor circus performers," he said meekly, hoping that the white blade of death would move a little farther away from his throat.

"And do poor circus performers commonly stun random officials?" a new voice inquired. Snoke lifted his eyes to see a red maned woman stride into the room with a robed figure at her heels.

"It was a mistake," the very thin man claimed, letting his face droop pathetically. Slightly. The white lightsaber was still hovering within millimeters of his exposed neck.

"I think it was not a mistake, Snoke," a male voice stated firmly, even as the robed figure lifted his hood off his head.

Snoke's eyes flashed in hatred and rage, "Skywalker!"

"Dad!" shouted Aide Rarita in obvious delight.

/

_Author Note: Many thanks for those of you kind enough to follow and review this fanfic. I think just one more chapter, maybe 2 more chapters? Thanks to my dear husband for editing! Oh, did anyone catch the slightly mangled Princess Bride quote?_


	11. Snoke, Hux, and Phasma

_Snoke's office_

_First Order Circus_

_Leilani (Capital of Delaya)_

_Delaya_

Mara tied the last knot on the bonds encircling Armitage Hux, the leader of the acrobatic group, even as her husband clicked a manacle around the long, bony ankle of Snoke. The latter was the only prisoner conscious, as both the red haired man and the tall dark woman were still insensible from the stun blast.

Luke Skywalker ignored Snoke's baleful look as he rose to his feet and finally gave his beloved daughter the hug she deserved.

"Padme," he breathed, pulling her close to him. "You did a wonderful job here."

His daughter returned the embrace with fervor and then stepped back with a wicked grin so similar to her mother's that Luke found himself catching his breath.

"Yes, I did do quite a nice job, thank you very much. I guess those acting classes were worth the credits, hmmmm?"

Luke frowned at her tone, "Your mother told me that you ... er ... are an actress. That's great!"

His daughter's green eyes widened even as the girl reached to yank off her blond wig, which she cast to one side. She used the Force to shake her auburn hair loose.

"Oh Dad," she said in dramatically, "please don't tell me that with your head injury you're going to be mellow about my acting!"

"Um, what?" Luke replied in bewilderment.

Padme shot Mara a look, and both women chuckled out loud.

"You made quite a fuss when Padme decided to become an actress, Luke," Mara explained, stepping forward to put an arm around her husband. "It's been a running joke between you for several years now."

Luke grinned with understanding, "Ok, I got it. I'll be crabby again as soon as we're done here."

"That will probably take a while," Prima announced. He was hovering over Snoke's holoterminal and shaking his head in astonishment. "I'm in contact with the real animal control people and there are all kinds of import/export violations, but I'm also seeing all kinds of shady shenanigans with the financials. Not good."

"Father, do you remember Kaze?" Padme asked, walking over to put an arm around Prima.

Luke blinked, "Er, no?"

The man stood up and bobbed a nervous head toward the Jedi Master, "That's quite all right, Master Jedi. We've only met about ..."

"A dozen times, at various family functions," Padme finished smoothly with a tilt of one eyebrow. "But since you bonked your head so thoroughly, Dad, let me reintroduce you. Kaze Prima is a financial wizard who has worked with Cousin Brehana in uncovering various illicit money laundering schemes. He's also a decent amateur actor."

Kaze blushed slightly and shot Padme a lovelorn smile, "You've taught me so much, Padme, though I'm still not nearly as good as you are."

"Hey, I'm a professional!" Padme said with a chuckle. "But you were great as a Roonan lemon when we acted together on Coruscant last spring."

"A lemon?" her father asked in bewilderment.

"We acted and sang in the famous fruit and vegetable opera, 'Fig-o-ler on the Roof', written by Marnit Tanzo," the girl explained cheerfully. "I played the lead part, an Ecclessis fig."

His father fought to keep from drooling in bewilderment, "A fig."

"Yup," Padme replied with a sunny smile, then glanced thoughtfully at Kaze, "Remind me later, Kaze, that we need to work more on your ability to ignore Force suggestion. Snoke here almost had you when he told you we didn't need to check out his office."

The man's blush deepened, "I know. It's embarrassing. It was like he was in my head. I knew better, but somehow ..."

Padme patted her boyfriend's arm gently, "It's Ok, Kaze. I don't think Snoke has had a great deal of training, but he is pretty decent at Force suggestion."

"I've found grenades, poison gas, and explosives," Han Solo stated, emerging from an adjoining room, "plus these?"

Luke and Mara sucked in simultaneous gasps even as the Jedi Master lifted the transparent box out of his old friend's hands and floated it to a table.

"Sith holocrons," he murmured in distress.

He looked up at his family members and shook his head, "I don't want to look at these here. Let's bring them back to the _Falcon _where we can focus without distraction."

"You will not touch those," Snoke snarled, finally deciding to speak.

Luke looked at him incredulously.

"Seriously, you're trying to use Force suggestion on me?" he demanded in an offended tone.

"What a scrub," Padme stated snarkily. "Dad's the most powerful, well trained Jedi in the galaxy."

The bound man's pale face turned slightly pink with fury, "You are a disgrace! A daughter who is an actress, her twin sister is a materials engineer! Darth Sidious truly destroyed the Jedi if this is what is left of those shattered remnants of the Old Order. Marriage and love and romance! It's an embarrassment. You are an embarrassment! And you will die, and your children with you, and your grandchildren."

Luke stepped back a pace to prevent the man's literal frothing from hitting his clothing.

"Oh, shut up, Snoke," the dark haired woman said suddenly, lifting her head and turning her body as much as possible toward the sepulcher man. It was difficult since she was firmly tied to the chair.

"I order you to be quiet!" Snoke howled.

"I will not be quiet," the woman continued, her dark eyes furrowed in anger. "I've had you in my head for way too long and it makes me want to throw up. Thanks to Skywalker's power, the bond between us is mostly blocked and I can finally tell you exactly what I think of you. You're ugly, and way too skinny, you smell bad, and you have weird feet. I'm done with this circus, and I'm done with you and your ridiculous plans to kill the Skywalkers!"

Luke stared in surprise and then smiled slightly as the woman's honesty flowed through the Force.

"And you are?" he asked her curiously.

"Mitra Stry is my original name," the woman said with a bob of her head, "but here in the circus I'm Captain Phasma."

"The cannon lady?" Mara asked curiously.

The woman huffed indignantly and nodded, "Yes, that's my act. But Armitage Hux and I were low level Hands under Palpatine, not very strong ones, and when Vader got all weird about you, Skywalker, he forced us to Force bond tightly to Snoke, who was a higher level Hand. The Emperor sent us off into the Far Outer Rim to hide in case everything fell apart, which it did, from his point of view. Snoke has been running both Hux and me ragged ever since he got out of prison two years ago. His last command was to kill Skywalker, and he expanded that command to killing everyone of the Skywalker line."

Mara strolled over to her husband and planted a kiss on his lips.

"So I wasn't the only one trying to kill you, Farmboy," she said in a dramatically throaty voice.

"You thought I was too cute to kill, admit it," her husband replied in kind, giving her a fervent kiss in return.

"Parents!" Padme said with an open grin. "We're working, right?"

Luke shook his head to orient himself, then frowned, "So Snoke was in prison? I don't remember Snoke coming up in the list of imprisoned Force sensitives, though I've forgotten a lot."

"I don't either, and I don't have a brain injury," his wife said thoughtfully.

"He was imprisoned for stealing a snake," Hux said, raising his previously lolling head and directing his own enraged look at the tall, cadaverous man tied in a chair next to him.

A pause.

"A snake?" Luke and Mara asked together.

"Hebra," Snoke snarled. "My darling Hebra. She was being kept in a cage that was too small and her monster of an owner was overfeeding her! She weighed twice what she should! Obesity is a leading cause of death for Corellian Black Snakes! I had to take her! I had to rescue her!"

Han Solo, concluding that his in-laws were struck dumb, strolled forward, his lips lifted in his classic one sided smile.

"How many years does one get in prison for stealing a Corellian Black Snake?" he drawled curiously.

Armitage Hux huffed irritably, "Fifteen years, if you steal from a Hutt. Fifteen years in some disgusting, nasty hole on Ryloth. The only reason Snoke isn't there now is that he lost so much weight he was able to finally slip through the bars of his cell. He then made his way back to Corellia, where the First Order circus, the circus that Mitra and I built up from the ground, where we had taken good care of his stupid reptiles, was operating at a decent profit, and he forced us to start working on his crazy vendetta ..."

"My circus!" Snoke howled. "My circus! My snakes! My Hebra! My snakes!"

"There is way more to life than snakes, you moron!" Mitra yelled indignantly. "Why is it always about the snakes? I mean, I like snakes, but what about the mammals, and the acrobats, and the knife throwers? Why can't you accept that ..."

"Because I'm in charge!"

Snoke was frothing again.

"I was given the task by our Master to destroy Skywalker and his family. You are under my command. The circus is under my command ..."

"And are the snakes under your command?" Armitage Hux demanded irritably.

There was a pause, and to everyone's surprise, Snoke's little mean eyes filled with sudden tears.

"No," he said finally, gasping out a sob. "No, the snakes, including my Hebra, are so much more than objects. No, they are more important than ... than even my destiny to destroy the Skywalkers. Please, please Jedi Master, don't harm my snakes. They do not deserve your vengeance. It is I who told Binks to destroy you, I am the one who plotted to drop that giant vat of pudding onto the _Jade Sabre_ last year ..."

"That was you?!" Mara demanded angrily. "My ship stank of coco claw pudding for months!"

Snoke's eyes narrowed, this time in distress, "You were supposed to be on board! You were supposed to drown in coco claw pudding, all of you! I am a failure, a failure!"

Luke sighed deeply and exchanged a thoughtful look with his beloved wife.

"Listen, Snoke, and Hux, and ... er, Mitra," he said quite gently, "I understand how strong the Emperor's commands were. Let's get you to a safe, quiet place and we'll try to work on ... um ... the underlying Force bonds and commands that have led to this situation. Does that sound good?"

Mitra Stry gazed at him in surprise, then dawning hope, "Would you, Master Jedi? I know Armitage and I would be so grateful. We hate this whole situation. We just want to be free to get married and maybe even have babies, though I'm kind of old ..."

"Babies?" Snoke squealed indignantly. "Babies?!"

"Babies are nice," Mara replied soothingly, addressing the bound woman. "And I do understand. I too was held captive by the Emperor's orders even after his death. We'll get you all fixed up."

Now both Stry and Hux had tears in their eyes.

"Thank you," Hux said gratefully. "Thank you."

Snoke was scowling hideously, until a thought obviously struck him with force.

"What about my snakes?" he demanded plaintively.


	12. Skywalkers and Associates

_Author Warning: Mostly Skywalker fluff_

_Room #154_

_Leilani Hospital_

_Leilani_

_Delaya_

_12 hours later_

Blorp!

Luke Skywalker gazed down in astonishment at his shirt, now covered in baby spit up, and then shot an amused look at his infant granddaughter Maria.

"Was that really necessary, sweetheart?" he demanded softly, even he gestured for a wet rag which was lying on a nearby counter. It flew over and rubbed against his formerly pristine black shirt, now thoroughly spotted white.

The baby gazed at him with the typical blank stare of a newborn, then yawned ostentatiously.

"I guess spitting up all over your grandpa is exhausting, huh?" the Jedi Master continued with a slight grin.

"I'm sorry, Dad," Beru Skywalker Antilles said apologetically. "Do you want me to take her so you can get cleaned up more?"

"Don't you dare take this sweet baby away," her father replied firmly. "Don't you dare."

"I thought you said babies were boring," Mara said with an amused smile, sitting down next to her husband on the bland sofa opposite Beru's bed.

"I never said that, did I, Maria?" Luke explained fondly, staring at his granddaughter. "Unless I'm wrong, and I'm never wrong, babies are completely adorable and wonderful, even when they vomit copiously on their grandparents."

Beru chuckled wearily and sat back down on her bed, leaning her head against the headrest, "Babies are wonderful, Dad, though I admit I'm more tired than I expected. I don't know how you and Mom survived having twins the first go around. One baby is hard enough, I can't imagine two!"

"We were very, very tired," her father replied, continuing to gaze into his granddaughter's face. "But it was all worth it, wasn't it, Baby?"

Maria wrinkled her forehead and stared into Luke's face, then abruptly closed her eyes.

"I guess I'm not exciting enough," Luke said with a smile, handing over the small bundle to his besotted wife.

"So, Beru," he continued, looking directly at his daughter, "I admit that my memory is still somewhat spotty in areas. Snoke said you are, what, a materials engineer? What is that?!"

Beru laughed aloud, "You don't remember that, Dad? Really?"

"No," her father mumbled meekly.

The woman chuckled again, "That's Ok. It's kind of a weird profession, to be honest. I research and analyze materials, like transparisteel and marble and kyber crystals and everything else in between. I studied at a university on Corellia, then took a job at a research facility here on Delaya where I focused on kyber crystals and the symbiosis between the inorganic crystal structure and the organic particles which focus Force power. Now that Maria has arrived, I'm going to just do some part time consulting from home while Trey brings home the bantha meat."

"Your husband ...?" Luke continued with a curious lift.

"Is a factory manager," Beru explained in a sunny tone. "He oversees a clothing factory here in Leilani which produces Ransome Quiltraz's clothing."

Sensing her father's continued bewilderment, she explained patiently, "Quiltraz is a very famous fashion designer."

"Ok," Luke replied thoughtfully, then paused, then spoke again. "You kids are kind of weird. An actress, a materials engineer, at least my son is Jedi."

"Luke!" Mara exclaimed in distress.

Beru merely laughed the exhaustion of a hormonal mother on very little sleep, "It's Ok, Mom. I've read enough about head injuries to know that victims sometimes don't have much of a verbal filter."

Luke was embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, Beru, that was rude."

His daughter rolled out of bed carefully and walked over to slide down on the other side of her father. She put one slender arm around him and leaned against his familiar chest.

"It's Ok, Dad," she replied softly. "I ... I was so afraid you'd not survive the attack on Naboo, that you'd never see your granddaughter. You're allowed to call me weird."

She sat up now, and her mouth curved up into a smile, "And don't think that Padme and I are disdaining our Force abilities. Padme is an actress, yes, but she works with Brehanna as an undercover agent sometimes, getting into places where cops can't infiltrate and figuring out what's going on with the Force. And me ... well, I know my Force abilities help me to understand the materials, especially the kyber crystals, in a way that most beings cannot. In fact ...,"

Here she trailed off, looking embarrassed.

Mara spoke up now, her green eyes dancing, "In fact, Luke, our daughter here is considered the most brilliant crystallographer to grace the galaxy since Galen Erso."

Luke was immediately solemn, "Galen Erso. He saved the galaxy, more than I did."

"Well, as much as you did, anyway," Beru countered quickly. "He designed the flaw in the Death Star, which enabled you to destroy it with that miracle shot. And then you brought back grandfather from the Dark Side and managed to destroy Palpatine in the process ..."

"I killed Palpatine, thank you very much," Anakin Skywalker announced, appearing suddenly.

"Grandfather!"

"Father!"

"Vader," Mara snapped irascibly. She and the former Sith Lord were on reasonable terms, but she made it a point to be moderately irritable when he showed up unannounced.

"And is this my sweet granddaughter?" Anakin demanded, ignoring everyone else to wander over and gaze into the baby's placid face.

"Yes," Beru said fondly. "She doesn't do much yet except cry and sleep and eat and you know, poop and pee, but Trey and I adore her."

Anakin put an ethereal hand on the baby's head; she startled everyone by snorting, opening her eyes, and gazing directly into the ghostly face hovering above her.

"She's a strong Force sensitive," the specter announced with a proud smile, "and she can already see me."

Maria gazed up for another long moment and then opened her little mouth and began crying loudly.

Anakin took a horrified step back, "Am I scaring her?"

"No," Beru said in amusement, "she's hungry. Here, let me take her."

The baby floated over to her mother to be fed, and Luke turned his gaze on his father, "So, Father, any further news on Snoke and company?"

"Tell you what," Mara interposed, "why don't we leave Beru and Maria alone so they can focus on the whole eating thing."

Luke nodded, gave his daughter a quick kiss, and exited the room with Mara and his spectral father behind him.

Outside the bedroom was a small lounge which was, currently, rather full of people.

Han Solo and Padme's boyfriend, Kaze, were leaning over a holoscreen. Chewbacca was standing in one corner, chewing on a large piece of bantha meat. Leia was talking into a transmission device, and her daughter Brehanna was perched on a nearby chair drinking a glass of blue milk.

"Ben, I've got to go," Leia said, raising her eyes and smiling at her twin, "thanks for the ideas. Give Rey my love. Bye!"

She clicked the device off and nodded to Luke and Mara, then speared her ghostly paternal parent with her gaze, "Hello, Father."

"Oh don't tell me the psychotic sire of yours is wandering around!" Solo whined, wandering over to put an arm around his wife.

"It's nice to see you too, Solo," Anakin replied in his snarkiest tone, though he knew, of course, that his Force blind son-in-law couldn't see him.

"He's glad to see you too," Leia translated diplomatically to her husband. "And don't be too crabby, Han – he's been working on the whole Snoke problem from the weird Force Afterlife."

"Fine," Solo huffed with a dramatic wave of his hand. "Please impart your wisdom, oh Invisible One. Though given that I can't hear you, I'm going to go talk security with Chewie."

The roguish former pirate and Chewbacca strode out of the room while Anakin began pacing, his hands behind his back, "Now that we know the focal point of the problem is this Snoke individual, we're following the Force lines from him to the others bonded to him. We believe there are three other former Hands who could be triggered by Snoke, but they are currently sleeper agents like Jar Jar Binks was for so many moronic decades. Since Snoke is now in custody, these individuals may be harmless but it would be wise to track them down and cut the Force bond. All in all, the situation seems well under control. I congratulate you all on excellent work."

"Thank you," Mara said in a gracious tone before turning her attention to Leia and Brehanna. "What about Snoke? Any ideas?"

Brehanna spoke up, "Well, the First Order circus is guilty of numerous import/export violations so we can legally hold him. We'll need to have a powerful Jedi keep an eye on him in custody until the situation settles; for now, my brother Anakin is watching him, and Cousin Cassian will take over in six hours. The situation with him is complex, but we can keep him contained. I'm confident of that."

"What about his snakes?" Luke asked seriously.

"Snakes?" Bre asked in a puzzled tone.

"Snoke has some Corellian black snakes," Padme Skywalker explained, marching through the door. "Oh, hi, Grandfather!"

"Padme," Anakin said with a courteous bob of the head.

"I think we should arrange for him to share prison cell quarters with the snakes," Padme continued. "Part of being in the Light is to show mercy to our enemies, and poor Snoke is pretty freaked out about his snakes.

Bre blinked at her cousin, "Freaked out?"

"Yes, because he loves them," Padme continued seriously. "And I don't blame him. They are lovely snakes."

"This snake thing you and Beru have going on ...," Brehanna said with a shake of her head.

"Well, blame Cassian!" Padme said with a chuckle. "He's the one that put a snake in our bed a decade ago, and Beru and I both decided we loved her. Or him. Or it."

"I wasn't too happy when it disappeared in the house," Mara stated with a shudder.

"Anyway, snakes!" Luke interposed. "Yes, we'll see if we can arrange for Snoke to be with this snakes. It might make it easier to reach him and undo the damage done by Palpatine."

Brehanna heaved an exasperated sigh, "You're loading me up with extra documents to file, you know? Ok, snakes. Check. Now what about the other two we arrested? What are we going to do about them?"

Her mother Leia spoke up now, "I just got talked to Ben on Naboo and he's spoken with the extended Naberrie clan. They've agreed to host both Hux and Stry for the foreseeable future. Ben and Rey are settled in at Varykino for some time, and we'll send a Jedi Healer to assist, maybe Ahsoka Tano's daughter? What do you think, Luke?"

"Ahsoka has a daughter?" Luke demanded, wide eyed.

There was a collective groan.

"Yes, Uncle Luke," Brehanna said patiently. "She married one of the clone veterans, a man named Rex and they have, wait for it, four children, three males and a female. The woman has remarkably healing abilities."

"I'm so glad Ahsoka got her love story," Anakin stated, sounding positively sappy.

"Uh, me too?" Luke replied, rubbing his hand across his forehead. "I sure wish I remembered everything."

Mara smiled and walked over and put her arm around her beloved husband.

"I love you, Luke, brain damaged or not. _We_ love you. The important thing is that we are all together."

_The End_

_Author Note: Thanks for reading and following this fanfic. I know the end was a little on the abrupt side but I'm kind of out of ideas for now. If I think of something else, I'll write an epilogue. Thanks to my husband for editing!_


	13. Epilogue

_Author Note: Ok, a short, fluffy epilogue._

_Epilogue_

_Leilani Animal Quarantine Facility_

_Leilani_

_Delaya_

_6 months later_

"Go, Hebra, go!" Snoke shouted encouragingly, gazing through the force field separating him from the prong-nosed rat enclosure.

The Corellian black snake in question, his beloved Hebra, was sliding through the vegetation in search of a succulent meal, even as the rats chittered and scurried and ran for cover.

"Those poor rats!" Rey Solo exclaimed sorrowfully, her eyes filling with sympathetic tears.

Her husband Ben put a comforting arm around his wife, "Well, the snake needs to eat too."

"In addition," Snoke explained seriously, "the prong-nosed rats multiply quickly. The black snakes typically keep the population in check in the wild, so this is actually healthy for these rats to have a natural predator."

"That makes sense," Ben replied, his brown eyes glinting with enthusiasm. "Everyone needs some struggle in life, including prong nosed rats. It sharpens us, like a double bladed lightsaber. It challenges us, strengthens us ..."

His lyrical statement was cut off as Hebra suddenly launched forward and wrapped several loops of her body around a hapless rat, who died without so much as a squeak.

"Great job, Hebra!" Ben yelped enthusiastically, and Snoke pumped his skinny arms in excitement.

Rey burst into noisy tears.

Her husband turned in distress and leaned forward, attempting to wrap his long arms around her. She shook her head angrily and retreated a few steps.

"You don't even care about the rats!" she shouted, and ran from the room, leaving Ben wide eyed with shock and embarrassment.

He turned to look at his uncle and aunt and Snoke, and Mara smiled at him reassuringly, "Don't worry about it, Ben, it's totally normal. I remember crying over a muja juice commercial when I was pregnant with the twins."

Luke jerked in astonishment, "Rey's pregnant?"

"Of course she is," Mara replied irascibly. "She's tough as durasteel, you know that. Only pregnancy hormones could have her freaking out over rats."

The red haired woman glanced at Ben now, whose own face was slack with surprise, and she winced, "I'm sorry, Ben, was that supposed to be a secret?"

Ben ran a shaking hand through his rather long hair, "Um, yeah, but I guess it's Ok that you know 'cause she's kind of lost her mind. Yesterday it was blue roseberry jam that had her in tears. She said the smell makes her sick."

"Remember the time you threw jam at me during Cassian's pregnancy?" Luke asked his wife as a stray memory surfaced.

Mara blushed, "I wasn't trying to throw it. I just, er, it kind of slipped from my hand ..."

Her husband laughed and put his arm around her, "It's Ok. I don't think slipped is quite the word, but I know you weren't trying to throw it at me, just at the wall or something. What a mess! C-3PO complained for hours."

"I think I'd better check on Rey," Ben said, his eyes worried, and he walked out of the door.

Luke turned to Snoke, who had turned his back on the family drama and was staring lovingly at Hebra, who was carefully swallowing the prong nosed rat. His blue eyes were moist with emotion.

"I was a little worried about Hebra," the very tall man explained. "She was a bit lethargic last week and I thought maybe she was sick. But she took that rat with her old flair."

Luke patted the man's skinny arm carefully and stated, "So, Snoke, I think we're ready to let you loose on an unsuspecting galaxy."

Snoke turned around now, his eyes widened, his face shocked, "Really, Master Jedi?"

Skywalker chuckled, "Yes. You've been completely healed from Palpatine's poisonous influence, and you've done everything we've asked and more."

The man's hairless brow rose in concern, "But what about Hebra? Can I take her with me when I go?"

Luke smiled reassuringly, "Yes, you can, of course. But my niece Brehanna and I have talked to the zoo and animal quarantine people here on Leilani, and you have a job here if you want. The animal experts around here are amazed at your giftedness with snakes in particular, and animals in general."

Now the tears were falling unabashed from Snoke's eyes.

"I would truly love that," he said, his voice husky. "Thank you, Master Jedi. You've given me my life back."

"He does that kind of thing with wayward Emperor's Hands," Mara said, planting a quick kiss on her husband's lips.

Luke colored in embarrassment, "It's my honor and my pleasure. Really."

The door slid open and Ben walked in, his face relaxed.

"Is Rey all right?" Mara asked in concern.

"Yes, she's fine," Ben assured her. "Chewbacca followed us over this morning, but got distracted talking to another Wookiee who works here with the captive bolraida. When Rey showed up in tears, he was there for her. She's getting some hug therapy right now. She says it's like being wrapped in a sentient rug. She's good."

Mara relaxed, and Luke smiled, "Chewie's amazing, he really is. Sometimes I forget he's almost 200 years old."

A moment later, he frowned, and Mara lifted an eyebrow, "What is it, Farmboy?"

Luke absently looked out the window. Storm clouds were forming in the west, forming a dramatic contrast to the blue skies to the east. He turned back toward his wife and nephew with a sigh.

"Another stray memory from that peculiar nightmare of mine," he explained. "After Ben here lost his freaking mind and turned to the Dark Side and killed his dad, Chewbacca was upset, of course, but he was also just kind of ... passive. Later, Rey got this crazy idea in her head that she should surrender to Kylo Ren to bring him back from the Dark Side and Chewbacca just went along with it. He let her load herself into an escape pod and she was pulled into the enemy ship, where she could easily have been killed. That doesn't seem very ... Chewie like, does it?"

Ben's eyes widened, "No way! I can imagine Chewie jamming himself into a pod and leaping out and pulling my arms off, but letting Rey go off to sacrifice herself like an idiot? No way!"

"You surrendered to Vader," Mara pointed out to her husband.

Luke shrugged, "Yeah, and you can bet I made sure not to tell Chewbacca before I left. He would have had a fit. He's very protective."

"Yes, he is," Ben agreed. "Just another weirdness from that dream. I was hoping it was fading, Uncle Luke."

His uncle smiled, "It is. I get the odd memory occasionally but mostly it has disappeared, which is all to the good. So, Ben, how do you feel about impending fatherhood?"

Ben Solo paled noticeably.

"I'm scared out of my mind," he replied honestly.

"You and Rey will do great," Mara said reassuringly. "You'll be wonderful parents.

"Rey, I agree with," Ben replied, doing a few quick Alderaanian dance steps in an attempt to calm himself. "She's steady and loving and all that. I want to be a great father, I do, but I know I'm kind of quirky and weird sometimes. And given how strong Rey and I are in the Force, I'm thinking our kid will probably be pretty powerful too. What if we fail him or her? What if the kid turns to the Dark Side?"

Luke shook his head, "Oh, Ben, you will do great, trust me."

"Yeah, and even if you are lousy, you can't possibly be worse than I was," Anakin Skywalker stated, popping into sight with an abruptness that caused even his son to flinch, "and just look at how great your mom and uncle turned out!"

Ben frowned, "No offense, Grandfather, but I don't think I can trust that my child will turn out well if I turn to the Dark Side and become a psychopath."

"You're right, of course," the spectral blue form stated gravely. "But my point is that you shouldn't assume you have to be a perfect father for your kids to turn out well. Luke and Leia have exceeded anything I could have believed possible. On the other hand, my mother was a wonderful woman and the Jedi tried their best, and I went bonkers."

"You can't be saying that what I do as a father doesn't matter!" Ben exclaimed indignantly.

"No, of course not," Mara said firmly, stepping forward to place a comforting hand on her nephew's arm. "I grew up without parents because the Empire snatched me, and it affected me profoundly. Your mother and uncle suffered greatly because of their father's decisions. We're all emotionally scarred beings. But what Anakin is justified in saying is that parents can and should do their best, but the children still will make their own choices. My own daughter starred as an Ecclessis fig in an opera! I mean, really, what does that say about our parenting!?"

There was a shared chuckle from all present except for Snoke, who was back to gazing raptly at his precious Hebra.

"I think what we're saying, Ben," Luke began, then trailed off as the door opened and Rey came in, her smile shaky, with Chewbacca trailing behind her reassuringly.

"I'm sorry," Rey said apologetically to all, and Ben stepped forward to clasp her in his arms.

"It's Ok," he said lovingly.

"Ben and Rey," Luke continued with a smile, "parenting is a challenging job but if there is one thing that is true of our extended clan, it's that we help each other and stick together. You two are going to do just fine."

_ The End. Really. Unless ..._


End file.
